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  • It's Weave And You Know It!

     

    I have a friend that I've known since second grade. She's always had problems with her hair. Breakage, bad relaxers, thinning edges. You name it, she's cried over it. About 3 months ago, she pops up at my house one day with a bra strap length weave. I didn't even know she had a hair apnt. We always know about things like that. I compliment her on how good it looks and she's gets embarresed and says she doesn't want to talk about it.

    To this day, 90 some days later, this girl won't admit she has a weave. If people ask her if it's real, she says "Uh, yeah!" All snotty like.<_< At first, I felt sorry for her. Maybe she has some sort of shame issues about having a weave since we've grown up and been surrounded by white people all our lives. Fine. Have issues. I have them to. But if this girl don't stop frontin' with me like I don't know it's a weave, I'ma get her _twak:

    In some twisted, warped way, I can understand not wanting white people to know. But why me? I've tried to get her to talk about it. I've asked her what she had done at the salon, what products does she use on her hair now ; just to get her to open up. The word "weave" is yet to come out of her mouth.

    Am I getting heated about nothing? Can somebody please try to explain this to me?

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    Yeah, I think you're getting heated about nothing...

    She may really be uncomfortable with talking about it. Why? Who knows...Who cares...Leave her be...If she really does have issues as far as her hair is concerned, this may be the only thing that has helped her feel some relief and self-confidence... ...

    Maybe she feels like you'll laugh at her or ridicule her. IMO when I saw her for the first time, I would have said, "Gone gurl...With your bad azz weave..." (I actually did do this with one of my girlfriends...I'm not good with pretending like something is the same when it is OBVIOUSLY not...) But now that it has gone on so long (90 DAYS... ) It's probably really uncomfortable...So if you can't let it be, just let it out...Get it behind you. Maybe your hinting and beating around the bush is irritating to her, and she dosn't want to talk to you about it...

    Oh, and she's probably not being honest about it because you're not being honest about asking her about it...

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    That is the strangest thing to me these days. Especially since the abundance of weaves are no different that fake nails. Lots of women have them but no one wants to admit it.

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    oh, I can definitely understand where you're coming from blackspirals. I have a good friend that Ive known for at least 6 years and still to this day, she has yet to tell me that her head is full of weave. She may be very insecure, but she knows and so do I that she got weave up in her head. It's whateva...I don't understand it.

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    I learned the hard way don't ask white girls about their natural color and don't ask sistas about length.

    When I was doing my ode to Chaka/Ms.Ross I have had people come up to me and put their hands in my hair⦠âœSee I told ya it wasn't realââ¦ people I knew used to ask me about it, even though they knew it was a weave. I was sensitive about it, but also wondered why it was such a huge deal⦠especially with friends who had always had long hair. I thought that it was my time to âœshine❠so why would someone steal my joy.

    Funny you should bring this up cause I had a similar discussion with a friend recently⦠(I think I posted this before) âœI've know you all your life and your hair ain't never been that curly⦠I have never seen curly locs⦠What kinda hair is that?ââ¦ You get the ideaâ¦

    Perhaps if you asked her directly, and asked her why she hasn't mentioned it⦠I'd be curious as to what she would say ~W

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    [font=Courier]I learned the hard way don't ask white girls about...

    So true...

    One of my girlfriends is white, and she just "admitted" to me that she covers her gray and highlights her hair...She though I would be like ...But I was more like Okay...Soooooo.....

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    Lord...just had a flashback...

    I used to be best friends with a girl whose mom made her wear a TWA. This was back in the 70s and she got snapped on ALL THE TIME.

    Eventually she moved out of state to live with her dad. Fast forward to the early 80s and here she is visiting her mom and wearing a shoulder-length wavy weave. Let me repeat that this was the EIGHTIES...it was obvious, in the most painful and obvious way possible, that it was not her real hair. I didn't say anything...we just hung out.

    Then on the last day of her visit we were in a drugstore and she was looking at hair color. And I said, "You can color that?" and she gave me this look and I was like: OMG she really thought that I thought that was her real hair! Only a blind person would think that was her real hair! and even then if they got to touch the big-azz knots on her head they'd figure it out!

    Here I would insert the LOL smiley but it really wasn't funny. She had some serious hair issues (and color issues too, but that's another thread).

    Many years later I saw her picture in a hair magazine...she had a curly blonde weave and it really looked good on her.

    I never wore a weave (and I highly doubt I ever will) but when I wore extensions I'd tell people in a MINUTE they weren't real.

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    Am I getting heated about nothing? Can somebody please try...

    Uh, yeah.

    Maybe it is a weave, maybe it isn't. Why are you so insistent on her admitting it? It's like you're hellbent on bringing her down, or putting her back in her place(??). _eek13:

    Let her do what she wants. If you are her friend, support her, and tell her that her hair looks nice. ^_^

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    That is the strangest thing to me these days. Especially...

    ITA

    Wigs, weave, clips ons, have been used for centuries, and they're here to stay. So why not just accept it. Wear them if you want, and if not, don't try to pigeonhole someone who does. _headshake: Especially a friend.

    If I came into contact with a friend that had a weave, I'd say "your hair looks very nice" (or nothing at all). No need to say that "your weave looks nice", as if you are setting someone straight. Mind your own head.

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    I dunno, I guess some folk don'y just like to let other people know that they wear weaves

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    ITA Wigs, weave, clips ons,* * have been used for...

    Exactly. Why in the world does she have to tell you that??? How is it any of your business???

    I'm not trying to be smart or anything but why do you feel that she has to make the statement " girl, don't ya know this is a weave" so you will not think that she's trying to pass it off to you as real ??

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    Am I getting heated about nothing? Can somebody please try...

    Yes you are, I agree with the others get out of your friends head. There are just somethings people refuse to talk about to others. Especially if they already know that you will be very critical. Perhaps she has heard you say something very negative against weaves and feels that she can't talk to you about it. If you are her friend, just be her friend and not put so much emphasis on her hair.

    Peace!

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    In some twisted, warped way, I can understand not wanting...

    if you are as certain as you say you are that her hair is fake, then why does she need to confirm for you what you already say you know?

    are you trying to make her feel bad or what?

    if you know that she's insecure about her hair, then why would you want to force a discussion about something that she doesn't feel comfortable talking about?

    if you were her true friend, you wouldn't put her in a position to feel ashamed or defensive about her hair.

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    If I were you, it would bug the heck out of me.

    I mean, in the interest of not wanting to embarrass her, or start a thing, I'd let it go, but some secret part of me would just want to scream, "GIRL, I KNOW IT'S A WEAVE! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING?!"

    Nothing makes me crazier than when people deny the obvious.

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    But why does it bother some of you guys whether or not these people are admitting to wearing a weave? I mean why do you want them to proclaim it?

    I always thought the point of wearing a weave is to give the illusion that it is said person's real hair. Why would they make a point to tell you that it is fake, ur missing the point. White women wear false hair all the time, I don't see their friends asking "IS that your real hair?" or "Why won't you tell people it's fake?".

    I get the impression that some of you want them to admit that their hair could never be that long or that texture.

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    White women wear false hair* all the time, I...

    Lots of women from all walks of life wear weaves all the time.

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    A true friend wouldn't continue to lie to you. Maybe this goes deeper than hair.

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    Yeah... I'm with Pacific.
    I want my friends to be real with ME even if we go out and front to the world. They don't have to be fake wit me. We're supposed to be better than that.
    Soooo, yeah. I'd be a little irritated about it. Let me know that the front is for THEM, not ME.
    Besides, depending on how good of a friend she is, I don't see why it can't be talked about, esp. if ya'll talk about everything else.

    One Love,
    Nyckei

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    I agree with others who say that you're getting overheated for no reason. What if she told you? From what you say, it would be like her saying I have two lips (if indeed the weave is that obvious). It's just hair.

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    I agree with others who say that you're getting overheated...

    basically... how does her admit to wearing a weave improve either of ur lives? I think you are getting worked up over nothing

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    Then on the last day of her visit we were...

    You may not want to insert the LOL smiley, but that was funny. "You can color that?"

    Anyhoo, I have a cousin who perms/texturizes, whatever, but the last time I asked what she'd done to her hair, she said it was natural. I was like "ooookay." I had nothing else to say about it; I KNOW it was permed but why argue about it?? If she wants to believe it's natural, then that's her business. I'm not about to argue with anyone or wrestle a confession out of anybody about what's on their head.

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    Probably because she's lying? I wouldn't want my friend lying to me, especially over something stupid like that. Who knows what else she'll lie about if she lies over that?

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    I think maybe you should just let people live in their fantasy worlds. It helps with their low self-esteem.

    <_< Side note: I was discussing hair-care with this African chick that has a glorious BAA (newly natural). She swore up and down her hair is ACTUALLY curly, but she can't find the right products to put the curls in there. (Even Ray Charles could see that this gal had no curl pattern. )

    She kept saying that I must use some type of âœspecial❠hair products to âœcreate❠my âœcurlsâ. I tried to tell her that if your hair is truly curly, it will naturally be that way without any products, but she wasn't trying to listen. ^_^

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    I'm just trying to figure out why this is such a big concern to you?

    Oh yeah, and

    Quote:
    if people ask her if it's real, she says "Uh, yeah!" All snotty like.dry.gif

    But it IS real! It just didn't grow out of her scalp!

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    I never wore a weave (and I highly doubt I...

    exactly. i've only worn braid extensions 3 times in my life... all since i turned 21. i see fake hair the same as a hair accessory - just another way to style YOUR hair. i woudn't claim that i grew a purple scarf out of my head...

    if she had been my friend, i woulda said something about her weave from Day 1 if i knew it was a weave (which i usually can tell). i don't think it's right that she actually tells people that it's "hers," but you can't force her to confess something that she doesn't want to admit to.

    the real question is, why wouldn't she want to talk to you about it - you're her friend! this is what i'd be asking her. be honest with yourself, and then be honest with her. ^_^ HTH

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    I think you need to step back...

    If you and she are friends, and you've known her since the times Michael Jackson was a black man, she may be hurt that you are spending so much time questioning her hair. If you know her don't you KNOW it's weave? Will her uttering "I AM UNBEWEAVEABLE NOW" make everything alright??

    Give the sis some slack and rest your mind.

    Just find something else to talk about with your friend.

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    sorry double the prose

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    Why should she have to tell anybody anything?
    If she doesn't want to tell people that her hair is fake then she shouldn't have to. It seems to me that you already know that her hair is fake..so why does she have to tell you it is fake? Just leave it alone and let her live her life the way she wants to live it...weave and all.

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    I have a friend that I've known since second grade....

    I dont know I sort of see her point of view but at the same time race has nothing with putting weave in your hair, because so many celebrities have hair thats not their own to them its common-its nothing to be ashamed of and they know their not the only one. I mean I understand you too, because to you thats her being another fake female, but I mean she may have her reasons or telling its her hair. Maybe because she believes the white people in your town will clown her just as any black person, thats another thing that is not racially determined, people no matter their race love to talk about people, torment them, etc. But again, those same people (well the girls can be wearing "extensions" too). But I mean just let her be her...dont be ready to knock the girl out just consider her feelings also.

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