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  • If Looks Are Vain...


    i had a long response, but i decided to sum it up as such:
    Stereotypes are a natural human occurrence, but there's no point in expecting something out of someone who looks like you.

    Because in my case, i'm tired of other Horn-of-Africans expecting me to act like xyz upon JUST seeing me. it always amazes me when the term "sell-out" is thrown because a lot times, ppl know the stigma of it, but not the real meaning. To me, selling-out is giving up YOU'RE (operative word) values in order to gain MATERIALLY. If being or acting like xyz was never part of my values growing up, who the eff are u to pop outta nowhere and assume that they were a part of my life? JUST b/c you see that i look similar to you? See where i'm going with this?

    Although i know who i am ethnically and politically, culturally i'm different. And i'm ok w/ that duality. i just hate when others enforce conforming in the name of "preserving culture." It's like even if they know you grew up, hang with, or prefer to follow other "cultural" ideologies, the main thing that will make cultural purists persist in telling u to conform is SIMPLY YOUR LOOKS! Purists assume that you'll never be accepted anywhere simply b/c of how u look. It's so crazy once u analyze it like that, but i just feel that's what it is.

    It's crazy the more and more u realize alllllllllllllll the things u represent while u were subconscious about it.

    i guess i'll ask how do u feel about my philosophy of "get in where u fit in"?



    on my way to class, which is along walk, i had a discussion with my self. i was trying to reason with myself on how people can base a belief or assumption on stereotypes and generalization on everything from hair to life style to race gender and everything inbetween. cause at it's basic core stereotypes are a fallacy. the little i remember from the course i took in philosophy, anything based on a fallacy is basically wrong as well. so, the same with stereotypes. there is not possible way to group an entire group of poeple with a similar physiological, mental, or spiritual traits and make a claim that they all are the same, behave the same way, and believe the same things.

    (oh, those people over there have blue hair, they all have stink breath)

    so then why do so many ppl base topics, or argue points off of the assumption of stereotypes and generalizations?
    i figure it's the brains way of taking a lot of information and instead of analyzing and processing each individual case it turns it into a generalization. the brain basically dumbs it down, sums it up for the person to swallow a load of information in pill form. i believe this is a very useful and important task the brain needs; something that evolved in humans in order for survival. (to broad to go into and off topic)

    but, the problem arises when people rely on and make assumptions from this information which in essence is incomplete and incorrect.
    so you know how it's human condition to be inclined to do things easier an faster, so it woi]uld make since for people to look around and make assumptions of others and group them based on skin color or hair type or the type of sneakers they wear, heck, i do it all the time.
    the only way i feel to curb this desire to stereotype other is time effort and empathy. think how it feels when some one makes an assumption of you cause you like to where the color people during winter when everyone else is rockin navy blue :Angry:
    and i say time and effort because that's what it takes to get to know a person and realize they are not at all what you assume them to be.

    looks are vain because sight, appearence is the easiest and first and introduction you get when you meet a person. and as conditioning goes that what a lot of people go with. first impressions are everything, they shouldn't be but they are.

    i had something else to say but i get off topic real easily.

    i say be your own man cuz know one can be a better you than you can ^_^

    i say people are holding on to traditions that sustained life and had apurpose long time ago. but with so many things being invented tlephone internet mass media, transportation having cultural preservation is kindof not as important as it used to be. i see at something people did just to be having something to do.( someone can correct me tho)
    maybe it's cause i think people are heading in a new direction w/ ir relationdhips and so many different cultures embracing(slowly) each others differences that cultural presevation won't be as important..

    it'll will be more important for for ppl to recognizes each other as fellow human beings with distinct, unique and cute differences


    Stereotypes are a natural human occurrence, but there's no point...

    I don't know the context of your post, whether this is in response to a thread on this board - or an ongoing discourse with other people in your offline life. But I will say in response to the general tone of your voice that you shouldn't dismiss your roots coz they are a part of you even if you go through times in your life where you don't value them as much. Also it's never wise to assume that you fit in with people who don't look like you - i.e. you might assume one thing but the feeling might not be mutual.


    toriq, not sure of what you're getting at exactly. but i think i get the drift. u mention "horn of africa(ns)". my mom is eritrean and i NEVER fit in with other eritreans/ethiopians. if you belong to that ethnicity you HAVE to speak the language. if not, you are a disgrace.

    it is harder for females than males, to fit in. men do not have the same stigmas. i am way more ethnic than my brother will ever be and he gets fully excepted. it may be because he looks like them- he is full and i am 1/2 (different dads).

    maybe people who look like you want to identify with you for a sense of belonging. when they find out that you are so different, they get a little dissappointed because there is not that bonding. so maybe it's kinda innocent. it just seems that maybe you r too americanized for some people. that goes across cultures.

    maybe we can better understand if you give details.


    sorry this is so late...
    but i guess i should clarify my vent

    when i lost my original post, i left out the...

    true words. Now see, what u'r tellin me about not fitting in w/ Eris/Ethios BUT being more ethnic than someone who's fully Eri (not just u'r bro) is the way that i pretty much am AND THE POINT I'M TRYNA MAKE (thank you!) Is it that important racially prove u'rself? i know i'm Eritrean, appreciate it, and others may kinda see it, but that doesn't mean i have to give up my relationships w/ others (be it friendship, dating, community leaders) or my beliefs in order to be "more" Eri. Folks who wanna bond w/ me have to accept me for who i am, NOT just my race. To purists, they just don't like the sight of it, but to me it's just a beautiful lie.
    i'd rather live an ugly truth.


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