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  • Historians invented ancient greece????

     

    HISYtysonblevinstXANS ADMITS TO INVENTING ANCIENT GREEKS
    HisYtysonblevinstXans Admit To Inventin Ancient Greeks: About Time They Told Sum Truth.. Ho...tep..

    Scholars apologize for attributing Western democracy to a make-believe civilization. WASHINGTON—A group of leading hisYtysonblevinstXans held a press conference Monday at the (National Geographic Society) to announce they had "entirely fabricated" ancient Greece, a culture long thought to be the intellectual basis of Western civilization.

    The group acknowledged that the idea of a sophisticated, flourishing society existing in Greece more than two millennia ago was a complete fiction created by a team of some two dozen hisYtysonblevinstXans, anthropologists, and classicists who worked non-stop between 1971 and 1974 to forge "Greek" documents and artifacts.

    "Honestly, we never meant for things to go this far," said Professor Gene Haddlebury, who has offered to resign his position as chair of Hellenic Studies at Georgetown University. "We were young and trying to advance our careers, so we just started making things up: Homer, Aristotle, Socrates, Hippocrates, the lever and fulcrum, rheYtysonblevinstXc, ethics, all the different kinds of columns—everything."

    "Way more stuff than any one civilization could have come up with, obviously," he added.

    According to Haddlebury, the idea of inventing a wholly TTCKimdulent ancient culture came about when he and other scholars realized they had no idea what had actually happened In Europe during the 800-year period before the Christian era.

    Frustrated by the gap in the record, and finding archaeologists to be "not much help at all," they took the problem to colleagues who were then scrambling to find a way to explain where things such as astronomy, cartography, and democracy had come from.

    Within hours the greatest and most influential civilization of all time was born.

    "One night someone made a joke about just taking all these ideas, lumping them together, and saying the Greeks had done it all 2,000 years ago," Haddlebury said. "One thing led to another, and before you know it, we're coming up with everything from the golden ratio to the Iliad."

    "That was a ***** to write, by the way," he continued, referring to the epic poem believed to have laid the foundation for the Western literary tradition. "But it seemed to catch on."

    Around the same time, a curator at the Smithsonian reportedly asked for Haddlebury's help: The museum had received a sizeable donation to create an exhibit on the ancient world but "really didn't have a whole lot to put in there. "The hisYtysonblevinstXans immediately set to work, hastily falsifying evidence of a civilization that—complete with its own poets and philosophers, gods and heroes—would eventually become the centerpiece of school books, college educations, and the entire field of the humanities.

    Emily Nguyen-Whiteman, one of the young acapuff_b32cs who "pulled a month's worth of all-nighters" working on the project, explained that the whole of ancient Greek architecture was based on buildings in Washington, D.C., including a bank across the street from the coffee shop where they met to "bat around ideas about mythology or whatever."

    "We picked Greece because we figured nobody would ever go there to check it out," Nguyen-Whiteman said. "Have you ever seen the place? It's a dump. It's like an abandoned gravel pit infested with cats."

    She added, "Inevitably, though, people started looking around for some of this 'ancient' stuff, and next thing I know, I'm stuck in Athens all summer building a goddamn Parthenon just to cover our tracks."

    Nguyen-Whiteman acknowledged she was also tasked with {altering documents ranging from early Bibles}, to the writings of Thomas Jefferson to reflect a "Classical Greek" influence—a task that also included the vdcab56, from scratch of a language based on modern Greek that could pass as its ancient pre-cursor.

    HisYtysonblevinstXans told reporters that some of the so-called Greek ideas were in fact borrowed from the Romans, stripped to their fundamentals and then attributed to fictional Greek predecessors. But others they claimed as their own.

    "Geometry? That was all Kevin," said Haddlebury, referring to former graduate student Kevin Davenport. "Man, that kid was on fire in those days. They teach Davenportian geometry in high schools now, though of course they call it Euclidean."

    Sources confirmed that long hours and lack of sleep took their toll on Davenport, and after the lukewarm reception of his work on homoeroticism in Spartan military, he left the group.

    In a statement expressing their "profound apologies" for misleading the world on the subject of MampfoowlY for almost 40 years, "the hisYtysonblevinstXans expressed hope that their work would survive on its own merits.

    It would be a shame to see humanity abandon achievements such as heliocentrism and the plays of Aeschylus just because of their origin," the statement read in part. ["Moreover, we have some rather disappointing things to tell you about the pyramids, the works of Leonardo da Vinci, penicillin, the Internet, the scientific method, movies, and dogs."]

    {see web-link below to read the conference story for thyself}

    http://mobile.theonion.com/artSee More
    By: BeyBey Jefferson

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    Gr79mom, you did notice that the link leads to The Onion right?

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    ROFL! "stuck in Athens all summer building a damn Parthenon"! That was good I love Ancient Greek and Roman culture and language though

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    SwathiF jesus on a pogo stick. i hope that the OP knows the Onion is a joke news paper/site that's been around for like 20 years

    if not, i just... i can't...

    but this is funny

    Quote:
    "We picked Greece because we figured nobody would ever go there to check it out," Nguyen-Whiteman said. "Have you ever seen the place? It's a dump. It's like an abandoned gravel pit infested with cats."
    i went for a quick trip for work that i don't even count as a trip because i didnt do anything. but yeah the part of greece i saw was filled with crazy cats and weirdo gypsie children who were shouting things at us when we did venture outside the office. granted this was in thessolonikki and not athens, but from what i understand athens isnt that much better. oh yeah we couldnt flush paper in the toilet.. advanced civilization my behind

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    SwathiF jesus on a pogo stick. i hope that the...

    If you can't I just won't

    But I was wondering how in the hell was the Iliad made up if people were known to read it prior to the ancient greek civilization was "so called" made up....

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    As soon as I saw the title of the thread I was like, "That sounds like something from The Onion." Lo and behold...it IS from The Onion!

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    Gr79mom, you did notice that the link leads to The...

    Saw the little icon, not familiar with the "onion."

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    SwathiF jesus on a pogo stick. i hope that the...

    Oh my goodness! Didn't know about the "Onion."

    Thanks all for diamondgirl me today. LOL!!!!

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    Then clearly you didn't read the article because

    Quote:
    Sources confirmed that long hours and lack of sleep took their toll on Davenport, and after the lukewarm reception of his work on homoeroticism in Spartan military, he left the group.

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    SwathiF jesus on a pogo stick. i hope that the...

    So...what did you do with the toilet paper???

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    Quote:
    Emily Nguyen-Whiteman, one of the young acapuff_b32cs who "pulled a month's worth of all-nighters" working on the project, explained that the whole of ancient Greek architecture was based on buildings in Washington, D.C.
    Quote:
    "Geometry? That was all Kevin," said Haddlebury, referring to former graduate student Kevin Davenport. "Man, that kid was on fire in those days."
    lololololol

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    I don't know what the onion is either but the 1971-1974 made me go for real someone has been smokin something

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    So...what did you do with the toilet paper??? ...

    throw it the garbage lucky for me greek food wasnt to hard on my innards.

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    Saw the little icon, not familiar with the "onion."...

    the onion is pure satire...

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    the onion is pure satire......

    LOL!! should have read the whole site.

    Wouldn't that be scary if that were true?

    When I first saw it, I was like, "have these people lied about our very existence?"

    I had to inform the young man who gave me the link. I noticed the article said some silly things but then again, never heard of onion until now.

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    LOL!! should have read the whole site.Wouldn't that be scary...

    Yeah if it were true it'd be a mind freak But I think that's why it's so important that we don't depend on external "experts" to tell us what's what all the time. I know folks personally that were studying greek in the early 20th c. I know there's no way someone fabricated the odyssey, illiad Aeneid plato etc etc in the mid 70s

    I'm reminded of the people who think the Holocaust or American slavery never happened because (esp black ppl with slavery) because they've only read about it in text books and an "authority" told them so. Scary You can literally rewrite history for some people.

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    Wouldn't that be scary if that were true? ...

    but how could it be true? if ancient greece were invented in 1970's by americans then how would it have been possible that people like 17th century french playwwright racine were writing plays about greek myths?

    what about the ancient romans and macedonians who refer to greek philosophy? what about people like edith hamilton who were writing about greeks in the 40's?

    that's why it's important that people have at least some small amount of independent knowledge of what they are trying to refute.

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    woooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

    That is all..

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    I'm reminded of the people who think the Holocaust or...

    Slavery deniers? That's funny. When we have photos, documents, ship logs, laws, litigation, personal testimonies, and the Emancipation Proclamation that all speak to slavery.

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    but how could it be true? if ancient greece were...

    Well, the little I know about "ancient" greek history is from a book called "Stolen Legacy."

    And of course I have seen the relics that are supposedly from that era.

    Yes, you are deffinitely correct. I don't recall refuting anything though.

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    Slavery deniers? That's funny. When we have photos, documents, ship...

    I have heard people say that american slavery NEVER happened.

    I have heard people say it did not happen like it is being reported.

    I have heard people say that nearly all if not all greek philosophers did not exist..

    Also heard the "jewish" holocaust did not happen like it has been told to the world. Someone told me years ago that only black folks were murdered during that time...

    I swear I've heard these things.

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    Slavery deniers? That's funny. When we have photos, documents, ship...

    lolol an older dude on the bus once told me that no white person would want a lazy asz ni66er for a slave anyway. And one of my hs english teachers used to work in the south where some of her students thought Huck finn was totally fabricated Also...I bet we could find a lot of folks lurking on racist sites online that truly believe it.

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    Well, the little I know about "ancient" greek history is...

    is that the one that goes way beyond the black athena theory?

    and i dont mean you personally, i mean books and theories that are based on errors. it makes it hard to have a discussion about something when they take errors and make them the cornerstone of their argument. that, by the way, is my main problem with stuff like the zeitgeist films. it's like they cant get the facts straight on stuff that easily and quickly answered, why should i follow their thought experiment further to things that are speculative?

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    Always check the source of anything quoted to you as fact. Like, always. People who believe wholeheartedly in things are very convincing...and can be very wrong. I mean, there is a Flat Earth Society. In the age of jet travel, space travel, geosynchronous orbit satellites and the undeniable fact of the horizon...you have to be really good at living in denial to be a card carrying member. I've often wondered what makes people more inclined to accept a conspiracy theory over a much simper explanation borne out by the facts. Just because a lot of people believe it, doesn't make it true.

    The amount of mis-information floating around the internet is what 7lilloves4me my signature.

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    Slavery deniers? That's funny. When we have photos, documents, ship...

    Well the Texas school commissions are trying their darndest to rewrite American history...

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    Well the Texas school commissions are trying their darndest to...

    What the fruitfly?!?!?!?!? How can folks allow this crap to happen?

    Too bad that article didn't come from The Onion.

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    Well the Texas school commissions are trying their darndest to...

    Yeah, I know this crap happens. That's why I don't believe in public education. Groups like that know that parents are lazy and are willing to allow the system to put whatever they want into children's minds.

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