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  • Grown men with braids

     

    Again, even if we did live in loc utopia...what does...

    We're asking WHY are people saying "locs are okay, braids HELL NAW " ... - does that make sense?

    I have nothing against locs, braids, cornrows, blow-outs, afros, WHATEVA...and have not said that anything is "less deserving of respectability" Why are you making this such an argumentative thing? All I'm asking about is why us natural women are going along with this double standard

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    You said...It's a stretch, I think the gay is the...

    No... I don't know how to box. Sorry. I thought it was clear that I disagreed with the gay=black idea as well. If not though, I do. And I gave my reasons for why the two analogies (gay: black. Natural woman: long haired men) were analogous to each other. Still don't see why it's a stretch though? Why do you seem them as different?

    And I kinda said this in my last post but, black men don't have to accept a cotton-pickin' thing about me as a sexually attractive being. And the reverse is true as well. They don't have to conform to anything. I think all the discussion outside of the mainstream ends there. Grown folks do what they do and like what they like. I dunno why some black women find locs more attractive than braids. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with their "naturalness" (or lack thereof) though.

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    We're asking WHY are people saying "locs are okay, braids...

    Lol I'm sorry dear, I wish I'd seen this before my last post. No need to argue or be sad face Lol we're cool beans.

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    And I didn't start this thread so folks could get nasty with one another. I mean I can't control it but I don't want this to get closed pretty please

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    I think there is a certain limit. For instances some men can pull of braids, but if you were to go in the work place with hair like Lil Wayne's then there's something wrong. You can wear natural hair but you also have to look neat.

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    You said...It's a stretch, I think the gay is the...

    I don't think that we make our men conform to what we like. There are many threads where we tell a woman if he doesnt like what you want to do with your hair than he can kick rocks, its not his hair and he has no say. It's probably not the right man for them anyway. There are lots of women that stay with those same men.
    I wouldnt go up to some random dude and be like I dont like your hair. It's not my place, it's not my hair and I dont care how he wears his tresses. If my man wanted to grow his hair longer, I might not like it and I would say something to put my opinion out there one time. That would be the end of the conversation though. If I was in love with him and wanted to build our relationship then I would learn to love it because I love him (just like we tell women about the guys they are with). If it was just a casual dating type thing I might move on after I got bored with the hair.

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    I'm still reading and ruminating, naturalsoul. I'm a bit slow these days, but I'm about and considering how I'll share (if still possible, relevant, and constructive when I get there). Foremost, we are regarding people potentially not eating or working on their beloved plantation because of a hairstyle (that is already braided/restrained/herded inherently).

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    It's funny that i was just talking to my friend this morning about this very thing..he currently has cornrows but he usually wears a fro...when he takes his cornrows out and has the little twisty fro goin on ithink its looks the best on him. he got cornrows cuz he's starting a new job and wanted his hair to look more "neat". I honestly like cornrows the least and never have been a big fan of them. with that being said boxbraids ummm yeah that screams feminine and he agree's..

    and yes when i cut my hair short i did think looked more "manly" than i would with longer hair..
    with all that being said this is truly the standard that I go by:

    1Co 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
    1Co 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

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    ^^^Sweet! Take your time (well at least I hope before the thread reaches a limit lol!)

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    I really appreciate Kathleen standing up for the black man. Its so much we go thru as black natural women to be ourselves, we reallt shouldn't judge. Personally I'm attracted to all fine black men with every style of natural hair and every complexion. I'll take a black man with long natural braids over a white man period. As far as the job market its hard to get a job for most people and yes they will discriminate over hair issue all the time.

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    I don't think that we make our men conform to...

    ITA with everything you said, especially the bold part. However, I am single so I can be picky on with whom I choose to spend my time with. And box braids and cornrows are a NO for me. Not a H-NO, but a NO nonetheless.

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    Me personally it ok for men to have braids but there is a certain age range when they need to cease. If you're a business man, I feel dread are a nice fit. Nice length dreads suit and tie.. This to me works for a black man. But braids when you've pasted your early twenties and you get closer to your thirties THEY NEED TO BE REMOVED.

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    with all that being said this is truly the standard...

    Okay, but what about Samson in the Bible? He had long hair, God told him not to ever cut it. That chick Delilah cut it off, and he got in trouble.

    Besides, back in the day a man with long hair was a sign of spiritualism. It certainly was NOT a shame for a man to have long hair. Both men and women wore long hair. It was only after the Roman men cut their hair short and kept it that way that everyone else pretended religion dictated men to have short hair.

    Also, what about guys with locs? Should they be ashamed for having long hair?

    Plus, there are places in the world today in which the men wear their hair long and the women keep it short.

    The only reason why people in the West feel guys should have short hair and females should have long hair or they look like guys is because of brainwashing. That's all.

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    I can definitely see a guy with braids getting discriminated against in the workforce (to go back to the original post). And I think that would be wrong, but not surprising. I am surprised at all the negativity IN HERE about braids on a guy.

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    Even being on my iPhone I need to pop in here. Apologies in advance for the autocorrect. :/

    We are speaking of two different things that intermesh: personal preference and societal expectations. There is no doubt there is a fluid relationship between the two. When we are used to seeing people dressed/styled in a certain way in our circles it becomes our "norm" and anything outside that is "outside the norm". How we react to those outside the norm is dictated by our personal experiences.

    Personally I don't mind braids on men but I'm not silly enough to think I am in the majority. I know I have been considered outside the norm and a nonconformist for my entire life on several fronts.

    99% of my BFs were musicians and artists resembling Jason Momoa or Rick James so I am comfortable with men with "expressive" hair. To this day if I were single I would still lean towards dating men with locs and long healthy hair over those with short hair but that is nothing more than a personal preference and I know fine men come in all hair lengths as well as bald.

    There is too much discrimination against us professionally already without adding to it. I will bet that a lot of Black AND White men would love to grow their hair but feel it is not accepted in our society - so keep it short. Someone needs to conduct an anonymous survey.

    Just my opinion.

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    I'm a young man currently in college right now and I have braids down to my shoulders. Just a straight canerow pattern. There's a lot of pressure to conform to that close-cropped look, particularly from some older black men/younger girls. Nonetheless, **** 'em. When I leave college, I'm going to dread up, anyway. I'm capable enough to maintain my image while displaying that I'm intelligent enough to succeed at whatever career path I pursue. I'm not gonna cut my hair for a woman or because someone's gonna come to already preconceived conclusions about me. I'm gonna be a man about it and let my actions speak for themselves... as opposed to appeasing people.

    EDIT-- Even though people are gonna knock me for perhaps being too idealistic about the situation, I'm graduating in a year so I'll put my principles to the test. Also, I plan on being a professor, and academia is a little more flexible with these things I guess (for young people).

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    Spinsterella, don't be suprised, people do this all the time its ok for me but not for you. How many times have you seen militant pro black men married to white women or mothers smoking cigerettes and getting mad when their teens follow their path and start smoking. Someone who says I will never usually means I will. We are supose to luv natural hair ladies. Its just braids, its not a pot belly and a jerri curl.

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    Okay, but what about Samson in the Bible? He had...

    That was a direct commandment cuz Judges 13 tells u that he was to b a nazarite so he was not to shave period. he got into trouble because he went against the commandment that was directed completely towards him and thats where his strength was and long hair does not nor ever did equal "spiritualism" just like locs doesn't automatically make anyone "deep" (watever that is) The bible always makes it about righteousness....

    as far as men with locs i don't really care for those either they look nice on sum people but the scripture says wat it says period. Everyones going to do as they like and i dont run around tellin men with long hair or women with short hair anything cuz thats on them. As far as the west thing goes i live in the east and yes the Western world does do a lot of brain washing but they actually pushed the short hair thing in the 90s maybe even late 80s....here in Egypt u don't see women runnin around here with short hair let alone buzz cuts, and men don't have hair down to their butts.

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    I don't like to see grown men in cornrows...it just looks like something that kids wear. To me this is about a STYLE and not the fact that he has long hair. Locs, fros, etc are fine but there is something about cornrows (and individual braids) that I just can't get with. I also don't like mohawks and I don't care how kinky/curly/nappy his hair is. There are a lot of natural hair styles worn by women that I don't like and I don't have too. *shrugs*

    ETA: It is totally OK for a man to wear braids or any other style that he likes but that doesn't mean I have to like or it or love it. There are plenty of people that don't like natural hair or any of the styles and think it's unprofessional, ugly, etc but that doesn't and won't stop me from wearing it.

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    So if you're going by what the Bible says, does that mean you don't ever wear pants? Pants are considered men's clothing, and the two genders aren't supposed to be dressing like each other. If you're going to follow the Bible on hair do you follow EVERYTHING it says? Or do you do like most people and just pick and choose the parts that support your biases?

    Actually, long hair WAS a sign of spiritualism. Same as locs. But then, that also depended on the region.

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    I don't like to see grown men in cornrows...it just...

    Hallelujah. And for the record, I do tend to like long hair.

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    This so reminds me of that episode of Living Single where Kyle was worried that he wouldn't get a promotion because he wore locs because his coworker put it in his ear that it wasn't professional.

    I don't care who you are, I don't believe that you have to compromise who you are to appease anyone. As long as it is neat and healthy then I say rock it.

    It reminds me of how every dude with locs and braids and cornrows were stereotyped as thugs up to no good. Forget that now...even the cropped cuts get that treatment nowadays....

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    I have no issue with them. It just depends on the style. Some braided styles look really nice and some look juvenile. Funny thing is, there are plenty of people having the same conversation about our hair....

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    I don't particularly like braids on men. I find it...

    I tend to agree, but its funny, it doesn't seem (although, I don't know for sure) that it would be easier for a women to get a job with dreads than a man...

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    Quote:
    Funny thing is, there are plenty of people having the same conversation about our hair....
    Amen.

    Some folks would probably see this site and think "WHAT? These people actually WANT their hair nappy? WTF?"

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    I know i should keep my opinion tomyself on this...but...

    This sums up my thoughts very well.

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    ITA its a gender thing, not a race thing. If...

    I'm just going to have you speak for me from now on because it seems we are sharing a brain. I totally agree.

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    Hallelujah. And for the record, I do tend to like...

    I've seen and known plenty of men with long hair and big hair I love it. LOL

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    I LOVE long hair on guys, black white or otherwise.

    My husband has long dreads down to his butt, a big fuzzy "homeless man beard" (as he calls it) AND a masters degree and a professional job. His dreads are not manicured, they are freeform.

    As for braids, I would love to see more professional looking men wearing them. Only then will braids/cornrows lose their "thug boy" image. I agree though that typically the men I see wearing braids above a certain age do not appeal to me. But it's not because of their hair, it's because of all the other stuff about them, how they dress, how they talk and carry themselves, etc.

    One look I can't stand though just to go off on a tangent is the "moustache but no beard look." Latino men seem to favor this style. My thing is, either be clean shaven OR have both a moustache and beard. Don't just have a moustache. Ew.

    I realize most women probably don't agree with me on that one.

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    ...how long is your husbands hair? because i cant imagine a man with a braidout This is funny as hell!!!

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