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  • Grown men with braids

     

    I was trying to find a thread where a woman on here said men with braids = big no no. Especially box braids. But I can't find it dang it!

    I went to a black career seminar where a woman (a hiring manager) addressed a man (probably in his 30s or late 20s) about his braids (he asked what could he do regarding work, etc) and she was honest with him about the stigma of grown men with braids. She never told him to cut his hair, she was giving honest feedback. He got a bit defensive about it but I guess appreciated her honesty.

    I was curious and came across this article: http://blackhoney.net/grown-***-men-...in-their-hair/

    I'm just wondering about all the issues that natural haired ladies have faced with acceptance from peers, co-workers, SOs, family, etc.

    But if a man wanted to wear his natural hair the way he wanted to it's completely different and unacceptable (unless you have locs or a short cut)

    So braids on men yay or nay? Do you agree with the article that men with braids are shiftless, immature, vain, effeminate, etc?

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    http://brownsista.com/grown-men-wearing-braids/

    Sorry I guess because the other link had azz in it it didn't work. So the above should work.

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    I don't particularly like braids on men. I find it feminizing. For business, I think a close-cropped cut is best. Locks are nice, but truthfully may make it harder to get hired in some fields. I don't agree with that practice, but it's a reality.

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    The feminine thing I can see how one could say that, but don't us nappies hate when we decide to get a TWA or go bald we are called "little boys" or something? Not attacking, I'm just curious.

    Or is this one of those things where it's like "That's just the way it is in this society, deal with it"?

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    no offense, but you sound JUST like the people that look down upon us for the way we wear our hair.... why is it wrong for men to be natural, as opposed to all of us who post and lurk on this website? cornrows, or whatever type of braids you are referring to is just another protective style, isnt it? my husband has braids (maybe my opinion is biased; so what.), and he also wears his hair in braidouts, twists, ponytails, puffs....

    more and more natural men and women are being accepted by the work-world.... because the world in general is coming to accept our hair for what it is.... arent they? it just seems odd to come on here and see someone make a post like this... i had to say something... "I think a close-cropped cut is best".... someone may say in reference to your hair, "i think a relaxed straight look is best, and it will make it easier for you to get a job".... come on.... lets think about it a little...

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    I think there's hypocrisy and double-standards. If men can't wear braids, women shouldn't be wearing non-straight and short hair.

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    Quote:
    no offense, but you sound JUST like the people that look down upon us for the way we wear our hair.
    I'm not sure who you are addressing.

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    ^^ Nevermind lol.

    Well, I feel that straightnochaser has a right to her opinion. It's the "Why" is what's important on both sides of the argument. I mean, she reflects what millions of folks think.

    The woman at the seminar actually took pity about the situation. She said "Unfortunately this is how it is, but when you climb the ladder and start your own company or business you can run things your own way and make a change."

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    I am not attracted to a grown man with braids... just not my preference. And any man who doesnt appreciate my natural hair, my deep dark skin, my little muffin top or my back rolls... can keep it moving as well.

    For the workforce....I think acceptance should be the standard and let work performance rule! No judgements there.

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    I know i should keep my opinion tomyself on this...but i had to ask...jeramiahsmommy ...how long is your husbands hair? because i cant imagine a man with a braidout...i have my hair in a braidout now and the reason i love it is because its so girly and femenine... It isnt me trying to be offensive but i just cant see it :S

    I guess when it comes to hair like all races its different for a man and a woman the same way girls wear skirts and dresses but men don't. If i saw a white guy with a highlighted blonde bob with layers (think nicole richie, paris hilton) then i would be like *whatt??* too... and chances are he'd have a problem getting a job ...the same way as me seeing a guy with braids or some other style viewed as feminine and them getting a job..

    But again thats just my opinion (not tryna be offensive)

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    I's true, black men with long hair that's not in locs are judged greatly. They are viewed as immature and the "first appearance" rule make it hard for them to obtain a decent job. I prefer short cuts. What about white men with ear length hair with corporate jobs? Does anyone know if they are viewed any different?

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    previously, i have been partial to a short hair cut on men which may stem from my military influenced upbringing. it wasn't that i had a problem with black men, in particular, having braids or cornrows, it was men having long hair period.

    in the office settings i have worked in, i have never seen a white man with a ponytail or long shag haircut (not saying there aren't, just that i haven't worked with any). on the otherhand, i have started to see black men with locs that are usually pulled back. so i don't know if in the orginal article, the author has negative feelings about men with long hair period. or if it's the cornrows or braids she particulary dislikes. in the business world, it may be a bias to long hair on men as a whole.

    on another note, i have started getting approached by men with long hair a lot more lately (primarily locs) which may be due to having gone natural myself, and i'm a little more attracted and open than i was previously to hair other than the short cut. we sometimes have that instant conversation started about the hair thing.

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    I personally dont like long hair on men of any race. I know this thread is geared towards OUR men and the way that they can be discriminated against b/c of it. I think that locs are more accepted form in the corporate world for men but only after they have matured. Outside of professional sports or entertainment, I cannot think of ANY men that have long hair in a professional field save for a very few broadcasters with locs. There is definitely a double standard with this. An hispanic co-worker of mine just cut his shoulder length hair that he wore in a ponytail because he said it was time for him to look like a grown up.

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    I'm that big of a fan w/ a man with braids and ponytails but I try not to judge because, hell, I hate for people to judge me negatively based on my hair.

    Now men with BAA's and locs??? Yum!

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    I know two black males who wear braids at my college. One of them (the elder) is extremely immature and leaves me with the impression of a 5 yr old in a man's body. The other is very feminine, loud, and messy (cant keep his or anyone else's business to himself). On the flip side I have known black males with braids that are masculine, mature, hardworking people. To me saying men with braids are immature, lazy etc. is the same as saying people with locs stink because they "can't" wash their hair. A style is a style people...

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    Here is my HO on men with braids, be it cornrows or box:

    I personally dislike those styles on men. Where I am from those styles are associated with the thug life mentality and I just can not wrap my mind around dating someone who lives that lifestyle. I think that is why most corporate businesses will not hire someone with those styles. I have never met a professional man wearing box braids or cornrows. Most men have worn those styles in high school and maybe college, but no grown man worth something will wear his hair in cornrows because of the stigma attached to them (my honest opinion). Is it wrong to attach a stigma to a hairstyle? Yes. Even locs are starting to get the stigma because more good for nothings are jumping on the bandwagon. I will take a shaped up afro any day over a grown man wearing cornrows or box braids.

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    the article says:

    Quote:
    The first thing I have noticed is that grown men with braids tend to either not have jobs, or very low paying jobs where they can basically get away with looking any old kind of way. Youll never find a man with braids in any professional type of environment as there is most likely a dress code to adhere to and a man with braids would automatically be breaking that code. Lets face it, nobody is gonna hire a braid wearing, beads hanging from the end Brotha to help run their company¬Ö they just arent.
    not true. although it may be rare, it does and can and does happen. one of the Dallas County commissioners (John Wiley Price) has cornrows.

    my personal feelings about men with cornrows are negative. i don't particularly like it. i agree that it looks juvenille. as for long hair on men, thats ok. as long as its not relaxed or in cornrows...

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    This is interesting...our men aren't "allowed" to wear their natural hair or most of us don't like that look on them. But if the tables were turned it's a lot of neck rolling and sucking teeth

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    ^^i know. isn't that pitiful...

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    Braids don't bother me. Depending.

    AND, how can you knock braids but get upset when there's some sort of discrimination against a person with locs? A man should not be limited to locs if he wants to keep his hair long.

    I'm not knocking opinions of braids, but how can you say, locs are professional, afros, twist outs, cowrie shells and all kinds of other natural styles are ok or professional? o_O

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    There's a young man (probably early 20s) here at the hospital with braids - his hair is ALWAYS tight! Next time I see him I gotta ask him who braids his hair (I wanna sit in her chair)

    That picture of the county commissioner is great! My friend's husband had cornrows since they started dating in undergrad - he cut them off when he graduated with his Ph.D. in engineering. He got a "gubment" job and felt the need to conform I gotta send him that picture, maybe he'll grow his hair back out!

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    This is interesting...our men aren't "allowed" to wear their natural...

    It is what it is. *snaps fingers*

    I appreciate natural hair period. My man can wear a fade, afro BAA or TWA, locs in any form and I would be cool, but them cornrows and box braids uh uh!!!! Me no likey. I have preferences. I know some men who don't like the puff, but love other natural styles and still love natural hair.

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    Even though the post is more meant to be a workforce issue than a dating preference issue, I just feel that the women who have a problem with long hair on men should not complain if their man (or whoever) refers to them as "butch" or "peter pan" or manly when they BC or decide to have a baldie or what have you, and are actively growing out their hair. Just MHO.

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    If I white dude showed up at a board meeting with long, flowing "I can't believe it's not BUTTER!" hair the CEOs and such would laugh him out of the meeting and back to the surfers hang out. It's not black men who are told not to have long hair, it's all men. That's just a societal standard. In colonial times, the standard was to have long hair (I think anyway, all the pictures I've seen of the dead prezz's and such have long hair tied off with ribbon ). It doesn't compare to black women and perms because only black women are expected to do "something" with their hair. If anyone wants to start a campaign for men who want long hair...fine. But you've gotta include all men.

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    This is interesting...our men aren't "allowed" to wear their natural...

    I was thinking the same thing. I have dated black men with long hair who wore their hair in cornrows. All of them had professional jobs and got them wearing the cornrows I did for them. As a matter of fact a few years ago, my boyfriend at the time and I were competing to see who could get APL hair first so we could donate to locks of love.

    Yes, society has that stigma, but people have to push against the grain to change those thought processes. Remember it wasn't that long ago where the notion of having a black professional in your business was outlandish because we were thought to be...shiftless, lazy, and dumb.

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    everyone is entitled to their own opinion.... i never meant to offend anyone.... it just really does seem like a dbl standard to have such a negative opinion of black men with braids, but want ppl to have a positive opinion of u and ur hair.... thats all i was saying, really. :-/

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    If I white dude showed up at a board meeting...

    Electra, back in colonial times the men wore wigs!!!! So they couldn't even wear their hair. LOL

    ITA with the all men and long hair not being accepted in corporate world.

    I wouldn't date a white man with long hair either. Nothing wrong with preferences.

    And last time I checked black men did not HAVE to get a chemical put in they hair to be accepted by black women. A hair cut is not going to leave burns and scar your hair follices.

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    As far as long hair goes, then what about locs? Why are they more accepted?

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    Grown men with braids? A no. Not sure why Snoop is still doin' it. Well, I know why he is, but I think it's terribly juvenile. I LOVE Black men with natural hair. I prefer natural hair to texturizers and other "kits." Just not braided up.

    As for why the double standard, there are things that I'm okay with on women that I'm not on men. Like another poster said, women in dresses and skirts yes. Men, no.

    ETA: Naturalsoul, for me locs are sexy & braids aren't.
    ETAA: To the original spirit of the thread, braids are seen a juvenile, so I can see why employers who want to project a certain image may not go for them. Kudos to men who have made good career moves with braids.

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    Electra, back in colonial times the men wore wigs!!!! So...

    LOL! You're so right! I totally forgot about that! I'm sure some of the bigwigs (le gasp! is this where the word comes from perhaps? ) didn't like wearing the same dirty smelly wig all the time, but they sucked it up to look respectable. I even remember reading a historical novel about the Revolutionary War (american) where a red coat on the run had to wear his uniform and wig at all times so no one would hang him as a spy if they saw him dressed in civvies.

    Women have their burdens to bear in the work place (and out of it, really) too. Skirt too short? Well you're a whore who must've slept your way to the top. Skirt too long? Well, you're a frigid, butch (b*tch) ice queen who everyone hates on principle. Forgive me if I'm not first in the save the menfolks brigade. Women have their own stigmas to deal with.

    Aesthetically speaking though..I like men of all races with long hair.

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