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  • Giving Up!

     

    It have been a hard journey. And I know that they said it wouldn't be easy. I haven't relaxed my hair in a year. Still have relaxer on my ends (about 3in.) and I haven't the slightest idea how to style my hair. I have been washing it everyday and pulling it back in a hair clip. I am realizing that I might be drying my hair out. The last couple of days, I have felt like giving up because I just don't know what to do. I have been thinking about visiting a natural hair care salon in Atlanta called Braids, Weaves, and Things which is about two hours from where I live for a consult before I decide to relax it. I work out everyday and it has become difficult to decide if natural will work. I never had a problem with a relaxer before. I actually have soft hair however right now it is becoming very hard to manage or do anything with especially when you don't know how to style in the first place. Is there any hope?

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    I would say definitely visit the salon and get yourself a bangin' natural style. That should give you some satisfaction for now.

    Also, spend some time browsing some of the hair albums on this site to get some inspiration. Pick out some low-maintenance styles and try them out. If you have been transitioning for a year, you should have a pretty nice length to work with. How much longer do you plan to transition?

    You have come this far (a year is a long time, girl!), so don't give up now! Stay encouraged and remember your reasons for wanting to give up the icky chemicals in the first place. Nothing will change if you relax....trust me.

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    First of all, don't give up. Believe me. I know the hard way that it's not worth going back. I transitioned for 8 months and permed again because I had to go to a wedding and I had no idea of how to style my hair. It was the worse decision I've ever made. I wish I had known about this site back then. You have the resources of this site. Is it hard to style because of the two textures?? How long is your natural hair? Do you think that you will not be comfortable with the length if you cut off your ends?? Have you checked out people's hair albums to look for styles?? You can search until you find someone with a similar hair type as yours and experiment with the styles that they have. Good luck. Don't give up!!!

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    sorry double post

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    a year transitioning? cut those ends off! and back away from the relaxer!

    take some time to really look through some of these albums and copy the styles you see.

    when you say wash everyday, do you mean shampoo or no-poo?

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    Don't give up.

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    Don't give up... I think I had a hard transition...so does everyone. I remember getting my hair straightening at a salon only to walk outside in a rainstorm. When I got to my car it looked like it did when I walked into the salon!! What I did was wear braids and weaves until it got to a length that I would trim off the relaxed ends! Stay STRONG!!

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    Don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been a year, you made it this far, and that's saying a lot!!!!! I transitioned for 14 months, and one day I washed my hair, and was about to cry cuz I didn't know what to do with it, then I realized...."Why am I doing this? I have a beautiful head of hair on my head". Then I chopped. If it's to the point where you can't take it anymore, then don't torture yourself. It'll be a lot easier to take care of your hair when it's all natural then when you're still hanging onto the permed ends. You can do it! Please don't give up!

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    please dont give up...

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    Have you checked out http://motowngirl.com? Her hair looks wonderful. Maybe you should check her out if you already haven't. :-)

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    Girl I can relate, I washed my hair today. And felt like giving up also. Because of the 2 textures . But I know it's definitely time for the bc. It will be a year next month for me too. Hang in there, your not alone.

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    Please don't give up!!!!! I have only just begun to transition and you have transitioned for a year... to you for the deterPreodenolveVtion that it took to get this far. Be true to yourself......are you really ready to throw in the towel? I don't think so.........Hang in there girl.....You know we got your back (box

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    Don't Do IT!!! We all understand how difficult the transition phase is, but I agree that if you cut those ends, you will find your hair can do amazing things...also, maybe washing your hair everyday is a lil too much, cause those relaxed ends can't take that much water...if you just have to wash, then take a deep breath...and do the big chop...we are all here for you, there are incredible hairstyle tips here...check'em out! Good luck and stay strong!

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    Quote:
    a year transitioning?à‚* cut those ends off! and back away from the relaxer!
    Please don't give up i just want to show you my album 3 years after the big chop!!
    Don't give up it's really worth it

    http://www.aufeminin.com/world/communaute/...e__a=56633.html

    password: racine

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    Sounds to me like it's time for the BC...

    Especially if you're washing your hair EVERY day? Gurl...you are a prime candidate for a TWA. It's the ultimate hairstyle for the hairstyling-challenged.

    Good luck...

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    It have been a hard journey. And I know...

    Don't give up! You've came this far and you might as well keep going forward. We all have been were you have been. If I were you I would cut the remaining the perm off and visit that salon.

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    Praise God there is hope! Thank you for all of your responses with support and encouragement. It is good to know that I am not alone and many of you have already been in my shoes before. And yes, RHEA69, I have to look at some pictures of hair styles and make that trip to the salon. BeagnergeU, thank you for your photos, they have been lots of help. I love the styles! Did you do them yourself? Most of you have mentioned I must cut my permed hair off. I understand your point and I have to do the BC.

    Most of the relaxed hair is in the front (about 3 or 4 inches left of perm). The back is just about natural. It has been braking off. I can hear it when I comb through my hair. I have been using Dark & Lovely Detangling Shampoo, KeraCare Conditioner, and Nexus Leave-In Conditioner. Please advice if I am using the wrong products. I heard I should use a detangling shampoo when I am transitioning.

    Do I need to go to a natural hair care salon or just a regular salon to get the cut? Has anyone been to the salon in Atlanta that I mentioned about?

    Thanks again for all of your help. I will NOT give up just yet! I will continue to search and look at styles to see what I like.

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    BeithecotR i am so glad you found hope again!!!

    Like you said i too have been in your shoes but i didn't stay such a long time transitionning oh Lord i was getting to impatient to see my natural texture !!

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    BeagnergeU, thank you for your photos, they have been lots of help. I love the styles! Did you do them yourself?
    You're welcome sometimes pics are worth a thousand words . Yes i do everything by myself , there is no natural hairstylists here in Paris so i don't have a choice and i really don't mind doing my hair

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    Edited: double post

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    Have you tried the no poo method at all sis?

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    Hi BeithecotR,

    I live in the ATL area too, and I know the salon you're talking about. Taliah Waajad owns the shop, and she's a famous natural hair stylist. Saying that, you might want to avoid going to her shop to get the BC...it will probably cost you an arm and a leg. While I was transititioning, the stylist there wasn't too receptive about what I wanted to do with MY hair...it was about what THEY wanted to do. There's a list of natural hair salons in the Natural Hair Services section you can check out, but you should also consider going to a barber if you don't want to do it yourself.

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    It is amazing at just how much information I can find on this website. It has been a blessing! nuttyjen347, please forgive me but what is a no poo style? Thank you AfricaIzin_My_Hair for your suggestion on that Salon in Atlanta. The hardest part will be for me to learn how to style my own hair. I don't know how to cornrow, but I can learn. I can learn to two-strand twist. It will be an experience, but I am willing to learn. Again, thanks to all who posted. I will be spending the time researching now.

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    I don't know how to cornrow, but I can...

    You got the right attititude girl!!!

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    I will NOT give up just yet! I will...

    woohooo!

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    good, don't give in. you haven't trudged a year only to fall out before reaching the finished line.

    your relaxed hair is doing just what it's supposed to: breaking off. it can't co-exist with your natual hair. and you definitely want to cut it before you damage your natural hair with that dead hay.

    i went to a barber for my BC and i loved it. he was very sensitive and open to what i wanted. i say drop that $8 at the barber and call it a day (try to get some shop recommendations first).

    do well. and be beautiful.

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    BeithecotR, I'm so glad to hear that you're hanging in there!

    By the way, "no poo" means using conditioner, rather than shampoo, to wash your hair. Some people (including me) have used this method successfully.

    This site is a wonderful source of information and support. We are always here for you!

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    Please don't give up huns

    Conrows, flat-twists, and if you're really THAT frustrated... I'd suggest a weave or something...

    Just PLEASE don't perm it

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    hi BeithecotR,

    no poo is just as RHEA69 states, also check out this site http://motowngirl.com/glossary.htm

    good luck.

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    ok lets talk....1. try not washing your hair everyday.
    why not leave it alone.. try scarf wraps using beautiful coloured silk and accessorise- or hats lined with silk for a different 'head' style
    2. stop pulling your hair back- LEAVE IT IN AN OUT STYLE. or under silk material.
    3. go onto different online photo links for inspiration
    4. focus on conditioning the hair then actually styling.
    5. God made you natural it works -TRUST ME! it s how you were born - don't get lazy and disrespect it.
    6. there is always hope - you have to believ in it
    if you bought a diamond necklace and had to wear it every day - you know you would have to insure it! - this means make sure it's protected, you would want people to see it at it's best- you'd want to show it off. think of your hair as this diamond necklace and not costume jewllwry which can be replaced and is less dazzling

    why not try a weave? or braid extensions
    your hair can still be natural with these styles.

    If you get a weave dont perm or press any of it - your whole hair should be sewn in to protect your natural locs
    start a photo diary of your growth and write your hair goals.
    Experiment with your favourite products
    cut out magazine styles and practice doing them or getting a stylist to (practicing yourself is the best option)

    go onto growafrohairlong.com
    or motowngirl.com for insoiration and advice.

    compliment yourself daily and recognise the new you, the original you- YOU ARE NUBIAN AND DELUXE remeber and appreciate that fact it's not easy being black an beautiful but every aint got a problem being so. Enjoy the challenge send us a photo.

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    The back is just about natural. It has been...

    Have you been combing your hair while dry? This could be contributing to it breaking off. I only comb my hair after I wash (about once per week) and only while my hair is saturated with conditioner.

    I agree that it may be time for your big chop. Don't get discouraged with your hair. It takes some time to really learn how to take care of it in its natural texture. Give yourself some time, be patient, and have fun with your hair.

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