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  • Friend with bad relaxer

     

    Ok ladies I have a friend with a really bad relaxer in her hair. Her edges are thining, her hair look EXTREMLY dry and the ends of her hair are terribly split. _eek13: I really want to convince her to go natural. I know it would be so much more healty for her hair. What can I say to her or show her that being natural is a good thing. She thinks that being natural is some kind of "hippie tree hugging thing" those were her exact word. she made me laugh. I am newly natural and am loving it. I know you can't push or force someone into being nappy but I at least want her to know the positives of it. so what do you laies think? what hould i do?

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    Well, the only thing I have to offer is setting by example. Once your friend sees how your beautiful head of nappy hair looks hopefully she will get on the bandwagon. You can only lead the horse to water, you can't make them drink it. Remember that.

    brnize4u

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    Good luck. I was trying to get my mom to do the same thing because her hair is AWFUL. Plus I don't know if it's from the smoking she does or the relaxers, but her gray hairs are actually YELLOW! She was even complaining about how terrible her hair looked. I told her she should just cut it off and wear it low like mine... I even suggested the "t"-word because she SERIOUSLY needs to cut that mess off. But nope. She wasn't walking around "baldheaded" with "nappy" hair. Nevermind the fact that she can barely get a ponytail right now. She said she needed another relaxer to "fix" it. <_< So good luck! because some people... even when they're hair is looking like that, they think it's just because they need a touch-up. <_<

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    I agree with brnize4u. Set an example for your friend. You may want to show her some of the online hair albums. So she can see that nappy hair is beautiful. If that doesn't work have her go to a salon so she can get her hair done by a professional. She needs to have her spilt ends cut, if not it's only going to get worse. She may be trying to hold on to her length even if it's in bad shape. I find that a lot of sistas will hold on ragety hair so not to end up being "the bald headed chick" I, however, like being the bald headed chick!

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    I showed my friend Natitwist's testimonial, and she is now considering growing her hair out. Maybe u can pass it on to her

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    I would show her this site and encourage her to look through the many albums that people have. Help her to find out what her options are and just lead by example. If after all of the positive things she's seen about nappy hair she STILL chooses to help herself go bald, that's on her. Just grab a broom and help her sweep up her damaged hair and place it in a trashcan.

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    My mom's hair is badly damaged from the perm. She swears the beautician did it so she started home perming. Her hair didn't get better so she decided that switching "up" her grade of perm from no-name to Optimum Care would do the trick.
    Now she says she's gonna cut all her hair off and get a Hawaiin Curl.
    When I tell her about going natural she starts, "I don't want to go natural, I don't want to go natural!" It only annoys me cuz she won't even listen to what I have to say. And I barely even talk to her about going natural cuz I don't want to badger her. I used to, but I've really slowed my roll. Only when she mentioned the Hawaiin Curl did I mention going natural again.

    I decided not to bring it up and pray for the best...which would ultimately be her hair falling out so she can finally realize all the damage she's done. Maybe then, and only then, will I have a chance of having her start to think of going and staying natural.

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    Good luck. I was trying to get my mom to...

    It's a shame that we have been programmed so much to think that three strands of straight hair on the head is better than a full head of nappy hair. My mom's hair is also damage, her hairline is receding and her whole head of hair is getting thinner with each application of relaxer. But, she doesn't want to admit that it is relaxers. I really wish there was some way to make everyone love themselves the way God made them. Till then, I guess the only thing we can do is to act as an example to others still living the lye.

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    Let me know what works so I can get my Mom and my other 2 sisters to do it!

    Good Luck

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    Thank you ladies for the advice. I really want her feel good about her hair. I caught her the other day trying to look at the web site. she said she wasn't but i saw it, she quickly got rid of the screen. :P I told her to go ahead and check out the site and she ignored me. LOL but i think she likes my hair. I am sporting a twist out right now and they look like tight little sherly temple curls. so hopefully she is on her way to being nappy. i just keep bragging on how healthy my hair is. :P but yeah i am going to have to show her the site. with all this beautiful hair on it. Thank you ladies!!!

    and loving it

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    How would you feel if a friend tried to convince you to straighten your hair? However you would feel about that person's good intentions should guide your actions. As you all stay friends, either she'll see or she won't. Everytime you say something to her about her hair, think that you're giving someone else permission to say something to you about your hair.

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