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  • Flippin, Flappin, Tossin, Turnin, Shakin, Throwin

     

    So are you still bothered when people (women) flip, flang, toss, or throw their hair? Are you bothered if all women do this, or just certain types/kinds of women (i.e., white, black, long hair, curly hair, straight hair, etc). Whether or not you're bothered, does that depend on the attitude of the person before hand? Or could we just be hypersensitive and think that people are automatically going to dislike our short or short(er) nappy hair.

    FOR INSTANCE

    Long relaxed chick in front of you in line. She happens to turn around for a hot minute, looks at you and your hair, turns back around with no appearant attitude and then all the sudden fingers her own hair.

    Do you autimatically think "why she gotta touch her hair after lookin at me? She thinks hers is all that because it's long and relaxed? Trying to say my short(er) nappy don't measure up to hers? Hmmmph! If only she knew that I was LOVIN this nappy!"

    But the question is - why do you automatically think this just because she 'happened' to have fingered her hair after looking at you? Couldn't she have been thinking "hmmm, cute" and just happen to absentmindedly finger her own hair because of thinking about hair in general? I've done this plenty of time, I know - see someone with nice hair or a cute style and I automatically put my hands in my head thinking something like "I need to wash my hair so it's looks fresher/neater" or "I need to get a new hair cut so it looks fresher."

    I have yet to 'smacked' in the face by someone's hair (I like personal space, just don't stand that close to people) but I have had people swing their hair closely enough where I have to tilt my head to the side to move it out the way (usually white women). Now what do you think when this happens? Are you automatically angry? If so why when it could have been an accident? Are you irritated? Is being angry and irritated different? How do you know the difference? I have been irritated by almost getting slap in the first by someone hair, especially if they don't notice that they've done it. That's when I go from being irritated to a bit angry - not that I almost got smacked, but that the other didn't noticed it was being done enough to apologize for almost smacking me with their hair. But I don't usually say anything, but 'DANG!' and just stand further back. Sometimes I might try call attention by saying "dang folks is just tryna smack me with they hair and stuff!" hoping the person gets the hint enough to turn around and say sorry.

    Now the one thing I haven't had is people who seem to have a tude about my nappyness or having short(er) hair and then flingin, flossin, and whippin it like "girl you KNOW YOU WANT THIS!" Or maybe I just haven't had a mind to notice because I don't see it as that important, or it hasn't been outright.

    Now here's where it gets but you know I'm gonna ask anyway - are the women who are more likely to get angry, bothered, or irritated the ones who want and/or seeking the long or longer hair?

    If you had longer hair (especially longer relaxed hair) and did a big chop, have you noticed that you may be paying more attention to how people with long(er) or relaxed hair flip, toss, and whip their hair more now than you did when it was relaxed?

    Are you just as bothered when someone with straight bouncy/movable hair, but has short or medium length flip their hair too, or is mainly the ones with (what you deem) as long or longer hair?

    and before we even 'go there' here's a DISCLAIMER
    there are no nappy rules nor am I trying to make any.

    I am not trying to make you adhere to any nappy rules.

    I am not trying to say that wanting long hair is wrong.

    If I didn't mentioned that you were 'obsessed' then 'obsession' has nothing to do with it (unless you actually wear that loudazz fragrance ).

    Yes, I may be trying analyze you, but you might need to analyze yourself too if you're thinking about this that hard and this has been an issue for you. Do don't blame me.

    No, I do not have a personal or general issue with you and your hair, this is for discussion purposes only. What you get out of it is what you get.

    Let the shyte-throwing begin
    (that was a joke)

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    I don't really care, I can flip, finger, and toss my own hair. It moves enough on it's own, anyway.... and my hand is ALWAYS in it, unless it's in ponytails or buns. It wouldn't bother me unless I got the feeling that someone was trying to HIT me with their hair.

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    Nah, I don't care, but then again I haven't noticed the tossin' and turning of the hair either. I'm probably so in love with my naps I don't even notice. Permies can do whatever they want with their hair as long as that stank, burnt hair doesnt hit me in the face.

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    I really don't pay much attention to that. So I don't mind. Just like someone may have a flipping, tossing habit others have a hand in fro/loc habit.

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    I have a serious case of HIF disease. I have played in my hair when I had TWA as a infant (Mom says I kept a pulled on my hair when I took a bottle) and I play with my twists at almost 50 (well, not really but I'm trying to get used to saying it).

    So what someone else does is not an issue for me as long as the hair doesn't flip onto me.

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    I've always had a habit of playing in my hair...even when I was a permie so it doesn't bother me for other people to flip or toss their hair.

    I've never thought that it had any thing to do with me...even though sometimes it might.

    I'm too caught up in my own thoughts, worry and concerns to care if someone is trying to bring my attention to their hair.

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    I am so much more concerned with my own head to take notice of someone flipping their hair. And even if they did I could cair less, I 'm having too much fun with own head...

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    That doesn't bother me at all. Then, again, like someone mentioned earlier, I haven't really noticed anyone around me doing that.

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    I don't care and I haven't really noticed anyone flipping their hair around me. I don't really pay that much attention to permie's hair anymore. I'm always looking out for natural heads now.

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    Doesnt bother me...the flippin, the tossin, the tuckin behind the ear...

    I think it IS important to question why we like certain things...but if the answer is truly..."Because I do..." then that is enough.

    I love long hair...so I do tend to notice it wherever I go...but I find myself STARING at big, puffy NATURAL hair.

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    nope it does not matter to me either. People (nappy or unnappy) can flip, toss twirl, wrap, slap, grab, hold, mold whateva....got my own hair to think about

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    Doesn't bother me.

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    Doesnt bother me at all.
    Because I am a flipper.
    I flip my locks all the time. When they are in my face, I do the finger run thru to push them back. When they are in my ear, stuck underneath my back pack strap, or in the neck of my shirt, I flip. When someone gives me any kind of odd look, I flip.
    Now that I dont wear a headband as reguarly, I am the most ear tucking flipping black person you probably will ever see.

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    Hehe... I finger my hair all the time and I flip my twists too. When I see people longer straighter hair fingering and flipping, there's sometimes that initial reaction of "Ugh, she must think she's something" if the woman just LOOKS like she has that bad additude problem, but usually I don't care. Unless I'm getting slapped in the face with it or something (which has happened to me before) because that's just plain rude.

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    The only ones who have really caught my attention is the black women who wear weaves (not braids). I really find it funny when they flip or toss or shake and it doesnt fall back into place it just sticks out I normally attribute it to the fact that are are not accustomed to the hair and are probably uncomfortable with it cuz no way could they be showing off on me .....

    For the record.....I have nothing against people who wear weaves....

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    The only ones who have really caught my attention...

    I saw a girl do that today. I think she had the fusion weave where there are no tracks. My friend is a stylist and did it for me 3 years ago. Its better than a sewn in weave because there more movement and you can split it every way you want. Its also very costly. Anyway, 2 girls and myself were behind her on the train. She put her fingers through and toss but it didn't fall back into place unlike natural straight hair. If only she knew that we saw most of the individual pieces of hair w/glue attached to her hair . She should of left it alone. She was right in front me so it was right there in my face.

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    Haven't read thru all the comments yet, but here's my answer: the only time I'm bothered when someone flips their hair is when it touches any part of my body, especially my face. I always have my hands in my hair so I can care less about others who have their hands in their hair flipping it, pulling it, or whatever. Just don't touch me and we are cool.

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    Even back in the days when I used to covet long straight hair, I never assumed that a long-haired woman was flipping-flapping-tossing-turning-shaking-throwing her hair around just to get my goat. I assumed she was just having fun with her hair. So, I never got upset. I still don't.

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    I'm too lost in my "own little world" too notice what anyone else is doing. But if i did happen to notice that it wouldn't bother me at all. The only hair that catches my attention is hair.

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    Quote:
    KhymFree....I'm too lost in my "own little world" to notice what anyone else is doing.* But if i did happen to notice that it wouldn't bother me at all. The only hair that catches my attention is hair.
    ITA

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    Doesn't bother me. If I was hung up on long hair (capable of flipping, moving, shaking ), then I would still be perming. It's happened a few times and I just smiled and thought if only they knew. I love my hair and prefer the kinks and coils I have discovered.

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    i've got short hair and i don't have a problem with someone flipping their hair as long as it doesn't hit me.
    and if it does touch me, i'll get irritated.

    i don't recall ever thinking a permie was trying to say something about my naps when they finger, flop, pull, sqeeze or flick or whatever their hair. i do find myself looking at other folks hair quite abit. i do that with clothes too. just to see how folks are put together and what their style is.

    i think folks just naturally will look at someone else and notice something and subconciously turn the attention to themselves. maybe they see my hair sticking up and then pat their head to make sure their hair is cool...

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    Before I went natural, I used to wonder why people were so fascinated by their hair. The only person I noticed who loved to flip their hair is Oprah. But my mother had to point that out to me. What you decide to do with your hair is your business. I don't hate on what you have (or purchased), just don't assume I want to be like you. The only person I want to be like is Jesus.

    Excuse me if I was ranting, I didn't even remember what the post is about.

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    Quote:
    The only ones who have really caught my attention is the black women who wear weaves (not braids).
    Yeah, same here. I get annoyed when someone flips her weave in my face, like I don't know it's a weave. And it's mostly weaves (or braids) that get flipped (on black women) because most permed heads' hair doesn't even really have movement.

    One day I went to lunch with a friend. And she was just a flippin and a tossin and a touchin her weave, CONSTANTLY. And then she said, "I am way too vain with this weave in my head." And I was like, glad you noticed. It was like a Charlie's Angels episode gone haywire, there was so much flipping and tossing.

    Why does that bother me? Because it's buying into the white woman hair thing. It's like, look at my Charlie's Angels hair toss. because really, it's only white women in hair commercials and television shows and movies and stuff like that, who REALLY do the whole head toss.

    the hair isn't real, it's like wearing triangle bra tops every day after getting a boob job. It's like you're putting so much emphasis into something that really isn't you.

    And if the hair touches me, then I KNOW she is trying way too hard.

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    now ain't that funny? Hone onto this issue or any other specifically, and all sudden no one has that problem.

    Be on another subject not specific to this one, and it's like "girl I hate when so-and-so peeps be flippin their hair, what the hell is that about?"

    If I could assume that everyone that would answer would not have a problem, this is a thread that would have escaped my mind and my typing.

    Not saying anyone is lying or refuse to tell the truth, I take your words at face value. Just find it funny is all. I try to point out things I see and ask about, and I don't think I would ask about it if I didn't see it for it to come to mind.

    But it's cool.

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    The first responses to this thread might have set the tone here.....

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    When my hair was loced and really long I used to flip. I flipped ALOT! My cousin used to laugh at me. But no, it doesn't bother me when women flip their hair. I would be mad if I was standing behind someone in line and they flipped their hair and it hit me (which has happened to me before). Otherwise, I couldn't care less.

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    'A flippin, tossin &swinging don't bother me a BIT !! I am accumstomed to it on WW, because it IS part of them.

    Now on BW ,,sometimes y'all it is funny. You got *snap* this much hairand you just a swingin ' & tossin' .. Or the BW who just got her touch up / a fresh perm and her roots are now layin' down , beaten into submission.. and she is just a swingin ' and a flippin' and a tossin' with this *snap* much hair ! Or as someone else said you are flippin' tossin' & swingin' YAKKY hair ;-)

    Now this is funny to me... I try not to notice to keep from laughin'.. It does not anger me...

    When I see it I do have a BIG smile on myself..

    As for feeling thier hair,, I love mine and I am always feeling mine too.. No problem!

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    I have to post on this topic only because I know how it feels to be accused of flipping and tossing. Most of my life my hair has been shoulder length or longer (and permed ) so when it was straight I'd sometime get accused of swinging my hair. This mostly happened when I was a school girl. Which was many years ago. And no I wasn't doing it on purpose, when you have long hair and it gets "done", it usually is bouncy and sometimes it bounces where you don't want it. I remember taking great pains to not fling my hair, just so I wouldn't get the comments, the eye rolling, etc.

    Last week I got my hair pressed. The first time I got it straightened since I went natural. I transitioned 4 years ago. My hair was bra strap after she cut off 3-4 inches. It was longer than I ever remember it being. It was done in a straight style, a style I didn't have even when it was permed. And quite frankly, I didn't know how to deal with it. It was every d*mned where. I just wasn't used to my hair acting like that. So I was constantly pushing it away from my face, putting it here, pulling it out of there, etc. I didn't fling, flip or anything. I didn't because those actions mean something more to black women than it does to women w. naturally straight hair. Put I did push it around. My point is that this is just another thing we need to get past. We need to let go. Did you know that most black women with naturally long hair don't flip or fling when it's straightened? Most of the women that do that are women that are not used to having long hair. And it's sad, at least I have always felt that way. This is another one of those things that we pick up as very young girls and carry it with us throughout our lives. If the woman you see if flinging her weave all over the place let her -- she paid to the opportunity to do that. Don't take things like that so personal, because it's not about you at all -- it's about a person and their insecurities. On the other hand there are black women with straightened long hair that aren't trying to flaunt it -- they just want it out of their faces.

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    Let me jump right in here. I don't care if they are flipping, touching, cajoling their hair or whatever after seeing my nappy head, that doesn't bother me.
    What does bother me and will bring me to the point of rage is when said flippage touches or grazes any part of my person. Why does this bother me? Because it's just plain rude!! It ticks me off to no end. I love personal space and while I put distance(whenever possible) between me and the person in front of me, if you know your hair is 14 inches or something don't be flicking that s*it in my face! I don't know if you have dandruff, lice, who knows?! I don't want it touching me PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ooh and at the movies, don't let your long hair hang over the seat on my knees because I will kindly stuff it right in your chair for you! Don't touch me............GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

    :-)

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