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  • Family's Dissapproval And Hindirance! ~help~

     

    Hi fellow nappies and wannabees (like me!)
    Well i started my transition (again) on May 20th. My last chemical fire 2of62ontheway was for my senior prom. I say again because last summer i transitioned for 4 months and had about 2-2.5 inches of growth. I thought i was really doing something until my mother expressed her outright objection against it. she LITERALLY MADE ME GET A PERM! :Angry_boese008: talk about angry. And let's not forget my father's ignorance with thinking every natural person wears locs! im currently 17 so i cant use the excuse of i'm grown technically. So what do i? As of now I'm "secretly" transitioning. This is soooo sad I've tried everything in convicing them that there are variety of ways to style natural hair. But nothing works! According to my father "I can do whatever i want when I'm 21!" (because he's still paying 4 college)
    Someone please tell me y are they making such a big deal over hair! its mine! And might i add that I HAVE NEVER GAVE THEM ANY TROUBLE! compared to other teens my age. They're acting like I'm doing something illegal!
    _eek13:
    any advice or other styles i can secretly transition with that they don't get suspicious of.

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    Sorry your parents are giving you grief about your natural hair. Have you considered braids or a straw set as ways to disguise your naturalness?

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    Before I start I would like to say that I am parent of 3, ages 25, 17 and 13. I really don't bother my children about their as long as they keep their hair clean. But your parents are sort of set in their ways as far as how we as black/african american should wear our hair. They might feel threaten to the fact that this may hinder you in the future, so it's not that they don't care, they just don't understand. Now if you truly want to be natural and wear hairstyles that won't be so offensive to your parents, try a two strand flat twist in your hair while your hair is wet. let the hair dry over night and loosen it with your fingers, do not comb it. You want to use your fingers to fluff it out. This is something I did while I transitioned. You may want to buy you some bendable rollers or curl perm rods and wet set your hair them and then loosen and fluff with fingers. These styles tend to give your hair a textured look. Last but not least you may want to see if you can get your hair braided. With these styles your parents may not say to much about your hair as you transition, because they won't be paying attention to the new growth. And check out some of the online albums, there are a lot of ladies on here that have tremendous talent.

    Please don't get discourage and keep coming to the site for support.
    Good luck

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    I say just keep on keeping on. They will get use to your hair. I'm older than you but trust me some of my family-friends were negative when I cut my hair to a twa. Now they see how fast my hair is BABYPRINCESS47 and are like wow. Oh yeah they also like alot of my styles.

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    Hi there. Sorry to hear about your situation...I thought that I was the only one that had to deal with the pressure from parents. Like you, I transitioned for four months while off to college. When I came home for Christmas break, my mother made me relax my hair because to her, it looked unkept and wild. My parents, too, hold the view that all naturals have locs and they do not wish for me to be linked with rastafarians. Like you, I'm a teenager dependant on my parents, so I had to find little loopholes in order to transition.

    My advice for you is to always have your hair in a protective style so that your mother cannot force you to relax it. Come home in braids, keep cornrowing your hair, etc. and use those styles as an excuse for not relaxing. After a while, your parents will get used to the idea of your transition like mine did.

    ~Skippy41~

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    ah yes, my mother and hair. boy that was always one of our biggest fights... i could go on forever with the sYtysonblevinstXes...

    when you go off to college, how far away will you be? it might help having some distance from them so they can't make you re-lax your hair again. you can keep transitioning and hide your hair in extension braids or twists when you visit home. or do a style that blends the two textures, like straw sets or braid-outs. that way, they won't notice so much and start bugging you about getting your hair "done."

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    I agree about the braids... think you can pull it off..are you a person who normally wears braids, since you are going off to college it is quite common for girls to wear braid often...saves so much time on maintance. But the real issue is your family's strong disdain, sorry to hear, my dad was not for it either, when my mom went natural 2 yrs ago she just did the big chop and came home "suprise" my dad propmptly called me on the phone to tell me that my mother had lost her mind and was the ugliest he'd ever seen her =-( well she went back to the chemical fire 2of62ontheway and now after my boldness is getting the urge again (I have been preparing for the BC since august 04 starting with mini chops of my decent length hair 3-4 inches pass my shoulders to gradually a short layered cut with some lengeth still in the front.. But not enough for a ponytail!) My dad says now it's my hair, and is "ok" with it cause I plan on transitioning with braids for like a year...give them some time maybe they'll come around.

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    I can understand the whole dilemma between you and your parents I went through it and I'm sort of still dealing with it, but I think you are making the right decision. You can just make your transition a bit longer. Rock those twistouts and other transitional styles and pray that they eventually come around. After I bombarded my mom with this site and a few of my favorite nappy albums, she softened up a bit. Maybe you can do the say. Stick to your plan, you'll probably be happier this way in the end. Good luck!

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    Wow! That stinks! Sorry to hear about that! But all I can say is try to blend the 2 textures as best as you can for now and when you go home for breaks, etc.

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    DP!

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    I feel your pain. I just "discovered" this website and I am soo grateful that I'm not the only one fed up with relaxers...I had no idea all this info/support was even out there. I say this because in my household/family/neighborhood think I've gone absolutely mad. "Say what? Go natural! You need to go to the salon to get it fixed up! What are you going to do with it like that? I will not have some nappy-headed child 'round here..." Advice? Hmm, I don't have any. I was always the obedient child but I'm very tempted to just come home one day with a twa...I'm going away to school in the fall and so I hope I can make a more convincing argument then something along the lines of "I don't have the time/money to maintain this style..." I realize that's not too helpful but parental disapproval definitely makes it double difficult to transition. Much luck!

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    Just ask a good friend or someone you know who braids hair to give you a cute transitioning style, and when you do the big chop get some cute 2- strand twists and show your parents how good the natural hair God gave you can look . I'll keep you in my prayers. Love, Jamaica aka packshot276

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