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  • Don't Know What To Do...need Guidance.

     

    Well, the last time I put a perm in my hair was late-July or early Aug in 2004. So that means it has been a year, that I have been transitioning. The main reason that I want to go natural is because the chemical fire cream damaged my already thin hair. So I really don't need a chemical fire cream. But this transitioning process is real hard.

    First is trying to style my hair. I heard one ideal style is the straw set, I want to do this at home, since I'm a poor grad student and can't afford a hair stylist. Plus, natural hair care places are few and far in between, where I live. Can anyone give me instructions for straw set? I heard you have to use a hood dryer, but I don't have one.

    Second, I don't get real support from close ones, especially my sort of Euro-centric old-fashioned mom. I was thinking about the chop off to TWA, but mom keeps discouraging me from doing it. She says things like I'm gonna look like a man if I chop off my hair or the shape of my face/head does not suit a TWA. Unfortunatly, she likes to include my weight in the mix as well. She says that I'm already big and TWA hairstyle would make me even more unattractive or she's views chopping my hair off as a form of de-feminization. She likes to tease me and say "Well what your boyfriend gonna do when he sees you look like a man?"

    Now I know what she says is brainwashed crap and I should not care what she says. I know everyone on this board is gonna get on me for this ...but to be honest the crap that she spews out make me feel nervous, confused and even insecure about going ahead with the TWA. Actually my mom was the reason why I went back to the perm, when I first attempted to transition four years ago. Now this is actually the longest I have been without a chemical fire cream since I was 10 years old. I'm still not mentally more like psychologically prepared for TWA cause I never had my hair real short and having my mom and some other familiy members saying crap does not help. So I'm still postponing the big chop off.

    In the meantime, the only way I can make my hair halfway decent, is wet my hair and gel it up into a ponytail...which I know is not good for my hair which is thining on the temples and sides. So is there any other easy styles that I can do while having these two different textures of Hair?

    BTW, I just discovered this website today and I'm excited about hairtipsforme.com I hope to get some advice or at least some encouragement. Thanks.

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    Member
     

    Welcome to the board. Here are some instructions for you.

    Ini's Strawset

    Motown girl's Strawset

    Good Luck

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    Welcome Epheloenjoype

    Ask yourself what's more important to you. What your mother and other's think or having healthy hair? If you're not ready to BC, then don't. There are ways to transition while improving your hair's health through protective styles.

    Get a regime that tackles the problem areas. Beef up those thinning edges with scalp massages, protein treatments, deep conditioning, hot oil treatments and/or protective styles that put the least amount of stress on those areas.

    Find a hair buddy. Look in the photo galleries for styles. Wear your crown proudly. There are so many things you can do with natural hair! Most of all, avoid the naysayers who will push their fears and prejudices on you if you let them.

    My transition to natural began with braids but looking back I wish I had done a BC. You learn so much more about the texture of your hair (what products to use/styling techniques) when you work with your natural hair. The challenging part is overcoming the years of chemical and heat abuse to find that texture. Good luck on your journey!

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    hey! welcome to hairtipsforme.com!
    you know, although i've known about this site for some months and been visiting regularly, i think this is my first post!
    anyway, you're situation seems soo much like mine that i had to write. i've been transitioning, almost a year (since Nov 2004) and styling my hair has been getting a bit frustrating. i also have thin hair and i do the whole "wet my hair and put it in a ponytail" thing, but i much rather get my big cut done and over with. it's something that i wanted to do and i felt that i was mentally prepared for it and all, even though at first i wasn't sure how my face and thickk body size would go with really short hair, but now i also have the mom issue as a road block. she doesn't necessarily support my whole desire to cut all the permed ends off and just let my hair be. and when i told her that i was about to cut my hair myself, she said some things that made me all nervous and unsure about going through with it. she says i can't do it myself, i have to go to a salon, but there aren't any Natural salons near my area, and high prices and bad experiences with hair stylists have left me nervous about putting my hair in the hands of just anybody. but i might just break down and go somewhere or just start chopping myself because i'm ready for these permed ends to go!!
    as far as alternate styles go, i've never done a strawset, but i LOVE doing twist-outs and braid-outs. i've even done two-strand twists and individual braids on occasion.. or to change up the pony tail/bun sometimes i cornrow the front.
    hope this helps! good luck with everything

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    Stay encourage and remember this is the hair God gave us and we were "beautiful and wonderfully made" You are beautiful ans you will be the same natural! check out this thread for answers to basic questions.

    Yes, do check out webpages, albums, and journals

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    Epheloenjoype,

    Stay encouraged and know that you have all our support in this journey.

    There are things my Mom said when I was a child that is still stuck in my head but I live my life and luv her no less for it (she hated my very fist bc back in the day but eventually she got over it and began to like it as much as me and guess how her hair is today!!!).

    I'm a "thick girl" w/a round face myself but I would never let that hinder me from trying a style that I know will look just as good on me as any thin girl. If you really want to do the bc, go for it and for moral support of the curvy ladies here, Ill do it with you! No isht!

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    First is trying to style my hair. I heard one...

    Well, a strawset is only one way. You can look into the instructions Bogart linked. It's time consuming (two to four hrs for some), but the outcome can be real cute. There's some simple stuff that you can do on your own like twistouts. You can jut put 8 or 10 big twists in your hair and unravel them after a while. If you do a lot of twists, you'll get tighter curls. If you do few, then your get loose curls or waves. You may want to put flexi rods on the end, because your relaxed ends may not curl up with the rest of the hair. You could also get someone to flat twist your hair or do it on your own. There's some instructions for flat twists here and instructions for cornrows here. I actually learned to flat twist from the cornrow instructions. You could wear them for a while and just unravel them for curls or waves, respectively.

    As far as your mom, I think the reason she's fighting you so hard on this is because she cares. She's probably worried how others will see you; she probably doesn't want them to give you ugly looks and look down on you. She's may be worried about all the negative things people may say to you (being a lookout), but doesn't even know that she's spewing some negativity, too. Sit her down and let her know that what she's been saying to you really isn't helping either. That you want to go natural and that you want her to support you. If she doesn't want to support, then that's fine but at least let you do your own thing with YOUR hair and respect it.

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    Thanks for the support everyone. Thanks for the instructions on the straw set Bogart.

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    I agree with what the other ladies have said. It is definitely important that you are mentally prepared to be 100% natural before you do the BC, so if you're not ready protective styles are always great. That being said, I have visited (stalked ) lots and lots and lots of natural albums of the ladies here on the site, and I have NEVER seem a twa that didn't look good. I don't know what it is about the twa, but its like a one size fits all (except unlike that stupid shirt I saw today, one size really does fit all!) I just wanted to share that with you. Don't be afraid of the bc or the twa because I will bet money (and believe me I don't bet often, I am a broke chica straight out of college) that it'll look fly on ya Good luck with whatever you choose!

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