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    hey ladies here's a story i was at church two sundays ago waiting for my mother to hurry up and finish talkin you know how we do and i was chillin sitting by myself and a mixed girl comes out of know where and says hey i'll see you later b da b. i looked at her and was like yeah what eva people are so stupid these days.

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    hmmmm. That chick needs to get over it. Don't worry about her.

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    Next time you see the heifah. Hey fake ho! (Naw, don't do that, you might have to fight and the church ain't the place for it.)

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    thats ridiculous

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    Some churches place heavy emphasis on having straight hair....I've even heard a Pastor's wife say "fix yourself up, some of ya'll need a perm!" I can't be under the tutaledge of someone who believes only chemically processed hair can be acceptable and considered beautiful.....

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    Just try to find validation in yourself. When I cut my hair, my pastor's wife looked at me in horror and eventhough she didn't directly call me ugly, what she thought showed on her face and the way she compared my cousin's hairstyle to mine said volumes.

    My cousin said to her that she was going to cut her hair and the woman looked at her then at me and said - "I hope you're not trying to look anything like that!!!!" She's THE ONLY person in the church who reacted to my hair cut like that, so I can't really say that the "church" is pro-straight.

    I really don't care what she or anyone else thinks and you shouldn't either. Being at church doesn't make us exempt from certain attitudes. Anywhere there's people, you just never know what'll come out their mouths. Just be consoled that you're beautiful and natural - the way God intended you to be.

    -n_

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    There are stupid people every where. Yes, even in church.

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    Yes, some church folk are the worst ones.

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    folks can really say some stupind things!!

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    hey ladies here's a story i was at...

    Okay, I'm in the dark here, please help a sistah out. b da b... I've heard this before, where did the term come from?

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    Okay, I'm in the dark here, please help a...

    Well I know Martin Lawrence was good for that term on his show

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    I guess "b da b" is a shortened version of "beady-bee" or "beady-bead." When Martin Lawrence had his show "Martin" he used to say this to Tichina Arnold's character (Pam) A LOT (which just got on my nerves--what kind of hair does HE have??). This is supposed to be the nappy hairs in your "kitchen."

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    Thanks for the explanation. Had no idea what "b da b" meant.
    Ummm...if you ever see that ignorant fool again, you can tell say: "see ya later house negro".

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    I guess "b da b" is a shortened version...

    I do remember this too. I guess the little coilies, that I think are so cute, at the nape of the neck are referred to as beads... or beady-bees.

    Okay. I don't find that offensive in and of itself but I know that girl intended to offend (and I guess so did Martin - but he's another character, and I don't feel like getting into a discussion about that show). Brush her off, she isn't worth getting angry over. You mentioned that she was biracial, I am I wrong to assume that you think she thinks she's better and has better hair than 4a/b/c napturals? That may or may not be true. If she does, and there are a lot of people like her out there - even in church, choose to give them absolutely no power by disregarding their asinine remarks.

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    Ummm...if you ever see that ignorant fool again, you...

    Gooooood one. I'd love to hear if it gets used!

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    I had a similiar experience with my Pastor last Sunday. I was discussing with his daughter my intent to "go natural" (this Wednesday's the BIG CHOP!!). She told her father (my pastor) about this and he told me that I need to keep my hair long and straight because I'm "light skinned" and "sophisticated". It made me want to go home and cut my hair right then and there. It's amazing how ignorant people of God can be. I wonder if HE looks down on us in disgust. I can't imagine creating something in my own image, and then that something telling me that how I decided to create them isn't good enough, and it must be chemically altered. I don't think that God is pleased. Luckily, HE's a wonderful God who bestows WISDOM if HE's asked. I'm so happy I have seen the light!! All you can do for that girl is pray for her cause she's been brainwashed. Unfortunately, we live in a society that tells us that's it's not OK for people of African decent to show the beautiful hair that God gave them.. She's still in the MATRIX, ya'll! Most of us have been there before..

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    Yes, some church folk are the worst ones. ...

    ITA!!!! Just ignore them!

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    oh girl you should have said something really "DEEP" like, youre not gonna see me later because youre blind!!

    give her a little food for thought.
    ~NaturaLady~

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    ....Uhhhm**cough* *cough*

    Headed Pastor's Wife Chking In .....

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    I had a similiar experience with my Pastor last...

    I love the church, but sometimes I can't deal...

    And I'm glad ByHis Grace has gone against the norm in terms of pastor's wives.

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    point made again by BHG ----->>the thread killer

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    Wow! Though there's a lot of weaves/perms in my church congregation, there are a growing number of naturals and nap friendly people! Not heard one negative comment from one of em yet, and the older folks seem to love a nappy head! That said, if I had locks I'd propbably have a different story to tell

    Keep your head up (pardon the pun) and continue to show that you are not ashamed and have no need to be ashamed of your hair in its natural, God-given glory!

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    Well, let me just say that I get similar negative (and some positive vibes) from my church.

    When a relative of mine was going there and when I first was a "full-time" nappy , she told me that the pastor's grandkids (who are mixed BTW) told her to "do something about my hair". This relative of mine and her daughters wore weaves and nice outfits all the time, and I was a poor college student trying to learn how to deal with my hair fully naturally. I was tired of wearing hairpieces and weaves, and I was even a little tired of wearing braids (just wanted to take a little break from the latter). She offered to do my hair sometimes.

    I know folks have talked about me behind my back and even giggled in my presence. A little girl asked me when I was going to get my hair fixed and I told her it was already fixed. Even about a month ago, I wore the best twistout to a church banquet, even my mom like it, and an older lady who has "barely ther" jheri curls said "you need to give this style up". I said "but I like it".

    But I have gotten positive remarks, especially when I've worn twists, twistouts and braids. But the last time I did a twistout, I didn't do my best and mom suggested I let someone do it. I was not happy but today, since I'm snowed in, I'm gonna take my time and do some really neat, swell twists.

    But I know sometimes people, even church people, can be mad critical, especially in the town in which I live where it seems everybody is a critic (Boston). And the funny thing about it is that the white folks seem to be more open than the black folks!

    Sometimes I used to pity myself saying "Well, I guess I don't have nobody since I'm a nappy-head". But I didn't have anybody when I was a permie either. So I guess it's all in confidence (which I'm working on!) :d)

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