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  • Challenge: Heartfelt Support Needed


    Hello, all....

    I just need some encouraging words about this physical/mental/emotional transition.... I'm getting a set of cornrolls this Friday so that will hold me over a few weeks and I'll continue with some type of braids/cornrolls throughout the spring/summer. But right now, I just don't know what to do with my hair.... Here are some of my issues....

    1. I've been getting it pre.ssed weekly up until last weekend. My hairdresser has moved out of state. I'm looking for a natural hair specialist now to help me transition. From this website, I'm aware of the disadvantages of using heat. I expect to be free from using heat at least throughout the summer. And I'm believing for the good that my hair has not suffered dramatically.

    2. There's SO MUCH valuable information on this website, but it gets SO overwhelming sometimes.

    3. Sometimes the "political" conversation re. nappiness gets a bit intense. I understand it, but sometimes it overshadows the core components of the main topics of natural hair care, esp. on the transitioners board, which is to SUPPORT those of us who are in the beginning stages.... We (at least me) need a gentle, guiding hand, not a hellfire and damnation sermon.

    4. I'm wearing a hat today because I tried to do something (?) to my hair last night after I washed it and it just came out a complete mess. I might be in this hat all week and that irks me....

    Finally, I'm committed to this transition. I am.... I'm willing to deal with the rough part to get to the good part.... I'm willing with the strength of the Lord.... I just need some godly, supportive, intelligent support.... I continue to do research and search this board diligently for advice on various topics. Please don't dismiss me with a "do a search on...." That approach is very insensitive and dismissive.

    Is there anyone out there who can step up to THIS CHALLENGE?



    Hi, LeAnne....

    Thank you very much for your kind and gentle response. I am already tired of the relaxed ends, esp. when I see this beautiful jet black hair shining through! (Smile!) I'm about half and half now (maybe totaling five inches altogether new growth and re.laxed). Before my hairdresser left, she trimmed it well and I think she's been giving me mini-chops since my transition began! LOL! I'm not even afraid of my hair anymore by trying to hang on to the bad ends.... It grows very well when it's well taken care of! (oops on that dangling proposition!)

    Yes, I plan to do individual braids and cornrolls, not micros! I learned that lesson as well! I would prefer to have much more length before I do some of those other styles, but I am so looking forward to it!

    Thank you for the references to the websites. I go to motowngirl and roshini's sites regularly.... I try to view some online albums and journals as well.... And again, thank you for your kind and gentle response... I was kind of on the edge!


    hi, sorry that you are so far dissapointed with some of the replies that you got. But I do believe that the majority of the women here do want to help.

    I see that you are on your 6th month of transition. I didn't transition with anyone to help me do my hair. First I would straight away tell you to stop using heat, as you might cause damage to your new growth.
    Try and learn to do your own hair. I know it can be overwhelming at times but it will help you in the long run, and stop you fall into the trap of relaxing again. You don't need to know how to cornrow, a simple bantu knot-out done should help, also try twisting, it's literally fool proff, you can put little rollers at the ends to curl them.

    Also when are you considering to do the BC? I transitioned for nearly a year and that helped, I also schedulled little trims as I needed so it was easier by the end of my transition.

    Again I know that you cant take anyone to tell you to research again, but go to the homemade section and make a little detangling spritz, I used to do one with rosewater and glycerin, it helped detangling my relaxed and new hair.

    Dont rely too much onto hats, they may be crutches at times.

    Tells us what you are doing now with your hair and what products you are using, we can then help you in the correct direction.

    I hope all is well with you and your transition goes more smoothly, pm me if you need any help or just someone to talk.


    Thank you very much for your kind and gentle response....

    Had to add my two cents thanks LeAnne and chemical fire cream Rehab for the questions I've been wanting to ask..just what I needed to here. I began transistioning last April and my styliust talked me into a chemical fire cream this past October so I'm back again in the transitioning stage with a curly weave (in shape of afro) would like to grow my hair out to the length of my weave. Does anyone know the best way to care for my hair as it is braided underneath? Gods blessings to ya all!


    I see that you are on your 6th month of...

    Hi, Tatyroots....

    Thank you for your kind and gentle response as well as your invite to PM you with any questions....

    I agree with you in that the majority of folks mean well.... but I think some forget what the transition is like.... or maybe they were blessed to not ever have to transition.... I didn't have a choice when I got my first re.laxer. I was seven years old!!!!! That puts me in re.laxers for 30 PLUS YEARS!!!! That's a long time to grow this process out of my head and my mind!!!!!

    Yes, I am planning to keep the heat out of my hair with braided styles and some weaves throughout the spring and summer.

    I am trying to learn my own hair.... Again, a BIG CHALLENGE because I never had to do my own hair before. EVER.... Plus, as I'm looking for a natural hair specialist, there aren't many in my metro area.... I've visited a couple of places....

    I plan to BC at my year point (September 2006) which I feel is a good time because by then I expect to have a length that I can work with to do some braid-outs and twist-outs.... That's another motivation for me to find a natural hair specialist so I can get the trims as I need them. I grew up in my childhood home with a professional licensed hairdresser so I am trained to let the RIGHT PROFESSIONAL help me with my hair....

    Yes, I have checked out so many parts of this site and I did a hair growth mix from the motowngirl website. It was simple enough to do over the weekend....it's only been a couple of days... Still not sure when to apply (every day? After a wash? over entire scalp or problem areas only?) I also check for product reviews to see which products are worth getting....

    Regarding what I'm doing with my hair right now? Well, I figured I needed to wash it to get the minimal amount of "gunk" out of my hair from the slick ponytail I wore Sunday. So I washed it with VO5 "Spa for the head" shampoo, then used the same brand conditioner and let it set for about 10-15 minutes. Washed that out and then put in some Aussie anti-frizz/leave-in conditioner combo, some aloe vera gel, and some Aura Humectant Pomade (supposed to be a knock-off of the Aveda stuff?) then I attempted to put it in sections of individual braids.... The braids were thin (I'm presuming from the re.laxed ends).... I unbraided it this morning and it just had no kind of shape or definition....

    And yes, I'm in a hat today.... and I don't want to rely on hats but wear them (and scarves as well) when the outfit calls for it or on the occasional "special" day! (LOL!)....

    When I get my cornrolls this Friday, I'll need to know the best products to use to make them last as long as possible. I already have the satin scarf and pillow and I'm faithful to wrapping my hair up at night.

    I plan to get them redone in 3 weeks because I'm going to this major black-tie event.... And me wearing braids to such an event is BIG PROGRESS FOR ME!!!!

    I thank you again for your response and your care....


    Umm I think the other ladies just about covered it... I just wanted to add that maybe you should keep your hair in braids or twists instead of wearing it out because that might just cause you trouble when you go to wash your hair...

    Another thing...I understand that transitioning is hard but using heat on your is can be sooo harmful and can make your transition longer. I'm just saying just because you can't see the damage doesn't mean it isn't there and how do you know that you haven't slightly changed your texture if you've been using heat all this time? Just something to think about...

    One more thing! You can check out my album to see styles that I've been wearing during my transition. It's been 1yr. and 3 months for me.

    I hope this helps you

    Stay Strong ^_^



    In the later stages of my transition, I wore cornrows. I stole an idea from the loc board.....rinsing hair in water. They have a post that recommends rinsing hair a long long time in water (shower). I started rinsng my cornrows every other day and when I took them out my hair was incredibly soft. My hair was wonderful. I did the same thing with twists. I just used a simple homemade daily spray and rinsed rinsed rinsed. Fabulous!!!!!

    I also did not ever do a bc - just a natural bo (break off - ).

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