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    My mother has high blood pressure and My grandma has a stroke last October. People in my family have different health problems, well the women.

    So when I want to eat healthy...I'm acting like the white girls at my school!!!, ain't that something because I don't want chicken smoothes in butter???

    why must I be on a diet if I don't want to not eat meat all the time and rather focus on my veggies?

    Why must I be on a diet if I don't want Soda or kool-aid?

    Why I want to be white if I want to start working out?

    Why Must I be acting white if I want to lose 20lbs, to be the doctor's suggested weight?

    We have so many problems with health among African Americans due to our diets and overall living style, and when I want to advoid that..why am I chastise, not only by my family, but friends of the family and strangers when I ask for a salad instead of a cheeseburger

    ("Oh girl, you don't need a diet, you look good"..." Thank You <_< .I didn't say I was on a diet, I just want a salad\"

    This is so frustrating, they want me to eat when I'm not hungry, that's why they're fat and I wish I could tell them that. Just YEll : STOP EATING when your not hungry.

    And the thing is that my "overweight" aunts, cousins complain about being fat and how they gained weight after the baby. But they still want to lose weight and be able to eat a big bag of chips, and pork, and all the food they want and sit on the counch and watch Oprah.

    and I'm the 2nd smallest of females at a size 12 and 2 years younger than me is a size 8. I was smaller and so was she like 4 years ( both of us gained like 30lbs). When we want to ride bikes, etc...You girls don't need to lose weight, your small, it good to have a little meat at the waist, and thighs, that's healty.

    No, not all the time, were short ( 5'5'' and 5'3''). I just going to disregard them, and be me. But it's sad when your family can't support being healthy.

    I'm not deprieving myself, except of food that's not good for me.

    sorry this so long, but I'm tired of keeping this t0 myself and my "smaller "cousin, has anyone else experience this sought of "support"?

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    A lot of Blacks in America have a love affair with food. Food symbolizes wealth and happiness for some. I never had a great love affair with food. My mom was not a great cook and cooked the more healthy foods. She also brought the healthier juices. But my other family members are just like yours. Whenever I would gain weight they would say you look healthy and happy. You must be in love. Or they would say you are getting big! When I became a vegan I lost about 20 pounds real fast. They asked what was worng with me and when was I going to stop that diet. Hello, its not a diet. They still ask me after almost 3 years, "Are you still on the diet?"

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    Wait a minute!

    I thought if I spoke proper English and was educated that I was "acting white."

    Wow! Now that I'm working out & eathing healthy, I may as well change my name to Becky & give MJ's plastic surgeon a call.

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    mitea
    I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time getting support from your family. However, at the same time, I'm glad that you can come here and get support from people like us who understand what you're doing and why.

    I personally think I was blessed to have an understanding family when it comes to my eating. However, I also feel that some of that understanding was forced due to family members who HAD to stop or reduce the eating of the fried chicken, extra salted foods, etc. because of various health conditions and visits to the hospitals. I am virturally the ONLY vegetarian in my family. Needless to say, I go to most family events because I enjoy being around my folks. They apologize at almost EVERY gathering because "they forgot about me"...after almost four years, I've learned to eat BEFORE I go and to just enjoy being around my family. I come from a family of big-boned women and thankfully, the majority of them have incorporated some form of "healthfulness" into their daily routines whether it's riding on a stationary bike or walking around their neighborhoods in the evening.

    After seeing my grandmother have not one, but 3 strokes AND my grandfather being a diabetic and us not finding out that he'd had a slight stroke until his diabetes put him in the hospital, has changed a lot my family members. I'm basically known as the "Healthy, smart one in the family" (hate that term, but after 28 years, you just get used to it.)

    The other thing that I've learned is that making small suggestions actually helps ...such as using applesauce instead oil when I make apple cinnamon muffins OR making vegetarian spaghetti and chili OR making vegetarian lasagna from scratch...after they finish eating, they realize that they didn't even miss the meat...

    Some folks take longer to change over to new habits than others AND some folks don't want to change anything out of fear of trying something new. Although it's aggravating that your family doesn't actively support your healthier lifestyle, continue to live as you're doing...eat healthier and be active...you might just be serving as a motivator for someone else in your family who is a "closet supporter" and wants to change also.

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    This is so frustrating, they want me to eat...

    Then just tell them!
    Keeping all this frustration and anger in is not healthy either. If you want support have you tried asking calmly for your family's support? I dont think anyone in your family is out to see you not be healthy. All the comments are said out of maybe a little ignorance and flawed cultural beliefs but all in love. Remember that and maybe you will feel better next time you hear a comment you feel is not 'supportive'.

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    Oh Mitea, I do understand.

    When I first decided to start food combining, my family sort of shrugged it off as one of my phases. Then, when I decided to adopt a vegetarian diet, my mother told me that all she did to lose weight was to eat smaller meals. That's great mom, but I'm not doing this to lose weight. ::::

    Last week she came home and told me that her doctor is taking her off some of her medication and all her numbers (cholesterol, bp, etc.) were in perfect healthy range. It didn't occur to me until later that she was hinting at the fact that she did it without being a vegetarian or being so healthy or going on a fast or whatever. AND, she's always making comments about something I'm doing healthwise.

    When I mentioned this to a friend, she said, well, aren't they eating what you cook? Heck yeah! I may not cook all the time for the family, but there certainly has been an increase in the amount of fruits and veggies -- fresh and frozen -- coming into this house. My lifestyle has to have had a positive effect on them!

    It's ok though. I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing because I do feel good and I know that I'm doing the right things for ME. I think they'll eventually catch on to some of my ideas.

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    BOY do I OVERstand! When I told my mama that I was gonna stop eating pork and possibly other meats altogether, she almost started an arguement with me. I mean she actually seemed to have gotten mad/frustrated.

    It was as if I were condeming HER for eating certain foods. She had asked me about cooking something and I told her I don't eat that...Oh...I think it was to do with catfish and I told her I don't eat scavengers (cat fish, shrimp, etc.) If looks could kill...

    Just wait until she finds out I'm working towards a vegetarian lifestyle .

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    there's a HIGH incidence of health issues amongst the women in my family. Then the Luther and Barry thing happened and I've changed my eating habits and started exercising 3 days a week for 30 minutes ever since. In July I'm going to up to Mon-Fri (two extra days a week).

    You would not believe the amont of pills some of my Aunts have to take just to stay alive.. , on the other hand I have great Aunts in their 70s who aren't on pill the first ...they ate healthy and took care of themselves their ENTIRE lives...of course, the bigger women criticize them, sayin they "ain't no bigger than a minute"...

    At any rate, I was reading that having that extra "pooch" around our middles increases our (women's) incidents of blood pressure and diabetes, so the pooch ain't cute ya'll. <_< Not to say you have to have Janet's abs, but the less fat around our mid-sections the healthier we'll be.

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    My people, My people,
    It is unfortunate that we receive such negative reactions when taking a proactive approach towards our health. I've always been interested in eating healthier, but did not actively pursue it until after having my daughter 3yrs ago. She was actuually the one that inspired me to go vegetarian(for some reason she does not eat meat), and I do not mind at all. My husband on the other hand thinks something is wrong with her. He was saying things like you'll be skinny and you "need" meat. If you could've seen the look on his face when I brought home a vegetarian cookbook . He is from Southwest GA and meat was a staple in his home whereas rice was the staple in mine. I had to also remind him, in a loving way of course, of all the "bigguns" on his side of the family . Anyway, I say all that to say that you must not allow anyone to dissuade you from doing what is right for you and your health. All we can do is empower others with our knowledge and whatever they choose to do with it is ultimately up to them.
    Oh, and my husband has eaten more vegetarian meals than he thinks !

    P.S.
    I am fairly new to this site (1st post) and I just want to say thank you all for sharing your knowledge
    Oh, and my vegetarian journey isn't complete, however I am making progress daily.

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    You just have to hang in there with them. My family is slowly but surely getting used to my "weird" way of eating after I've been doing this since 1994-1995. I used to weight about 140 at 5'6" and now that I've been around 115-127 for the past few years, I've been told by some of them that I looked better bigger. My husband thinks I look fine, my kids think I look fine, and I think I look fine. Some of my family members even call me "anorexic", which doesn't bother me (usually it's the ones that are out-of-shape). When I go home to visit for the summer, my mom still offers me foods that she know I don't eat, but I know she's offering out of love, being hospitable (she's from the south), and not because she's trying to sabotage my health.

    Honeycomb

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    Well, I do have friends I can talk to and thank God I can come here and vent and know that somebody knows where I'm coming from.

    And oh yeah...

    Welcome to hairtipsforme Folasade!

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    Welcome Folasade!!!!

    You know what you all? ...I'm noticing that the majority of us have had some type of negative response towards our healthier lifestyles. For some reason, it never occurred (spell check) to me until just now that people may actually be envious of our tenacity and willpower to become healthier people and that they want to live a healthier lifestyle but they aren't sure where to begin, are too afraid to change and have entirely too much pride to ask for our assistance.

    Also, like Folasade, my family has eaten more vegetarian meals...However, they know it!! I tell my folks all of the time that for them to NOT be vegetarians, they sure do eat up my food...they've even began drinking soy milk (mom says it's supposed to help with her hot flashes ...hey, whatever works)...She's also considering doing the Master Cleanse fast (I'm on day and so is my sister!
    They're coming around slowly...now if I can just get them to give up meat entirely AND exercise consistently, we'll be good to go! :P

    I think we are living motivation for them. Hopefully, they will come around to eating and living healthier. If not, that's their problem. We'll just love them anyway.

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    I avoid synethetic hormones and eat organic. Because organic is more expensive I was criticized for spending "so much" on groceries. This, from people, who spend constantly on getting nails/hair done, and must have the latest designer clothes. O-kay?!?

    On the other hand, I think that people who adopt healthy habits can have the same crusader tendancies as new naturals. I talk to no one about my food habits, and only bring it up when asked. Like being natural, its all about attitude, holding your head up high, and setting a good example.

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    It's funny because around white women, I am many times the biggest...a whopping size 10. But around black women, especially my family, I am usually the slimest. When my sister found out I was dieting, she was like, "you better stop with that dieting mess!". I know I need to lose 20 lbs and that's my personal business. Another funny thing is that when I go out, I notice women who are probably like 40 pounds heavier than me sportin' outfits that would make me blush...but that's just me. I have nothing against size acceptance, you can be a fit size 14 or whatever. I just think being healthy is key and feeling good about your diet and activity level. But let me get back to work before I get fired... oh and I am also on the organic/natural tip which makes me a weirdo to the women in my family.

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    I avoid synethetic hormones and eat organic. Because organic...

    I have the same problem. I am teased and accused of eating all of the "hippie food" and buying organic meets, fish, eggs, dairy and produce. I instantly lost 10 lbs alone from just not eating hormone foods. Overall, I still spend waaay less on food than they do. They still eat prepackaged, pre-prepared, frozen instant and canned foods, not to mention the hair, nails, etc.

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    I've experienced this too. Why people get upset about what I am eating, I will never understand. Exchange between me and a friend at lunch out. Background, I've been on WW since May and try to stay on points.
    She orders a burger and fries. I order vegetable soup and salad with dressing on the side.
    She gives me a dirty look.
    Friend:"Come on, you know you want a burger and fries." (and yes I did, my frequent lunch pre WW)
    Me: "It looks good but I'm going to stick with soup and salad."
    Friend: "What you think you're better than me?"
    Me: "No, this is what I want to eat for lunch and I haven't planned for a burger for lunch today."
    Friend: "You are trying to show me up?" WTF? "If you were my friend you'd eat a real lunch with me."

    I wasn't going to give in and eat it to make her happy. I think all our activities in the future will be non food related.

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    I've experienced this too.* Why people get upset about what...

    Okay, I'm thinking sistergirl was having a "hot" day and you were the release button for some air...either that or she's so proud of your willpower and tenacity to stick your guns and be healthier that she doesn't know how else to express herself because she wants to do what you're doing but isn't ready for that next level of change.

    Either way, I'm glad that you didn't give in to her ranting and stuck to your guns! Way to go Curls!!

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    I avoid synethetic hormones and eat organic. Because organic...

    I would rather spend a lot on food then doctors bills.

    My SO's friend called talking about how he had no food. After hearing what we were going to give him his response was y'all eat them rich white folks food. (Veggie burgers, rice and salmon) I was like the nerve beggars can't be choosers especially when you call us like we're a food bank telling us about your food shortage

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    whew...tell me ABOUT IT! when i started last year with weight watchers..child my MOMMA..went on and on and on and on..."why you did that? you can just cut back..blah blah blah" got on the phone and told my sister she was concerned about me measuring my food and working out too much..(mind you..i needed to learn about food and ww helped me TREMENDOUSLY in that area)

    at work...same thing...the diet questions..why you eating that...so you think you better because you dont eat hamburgers..

    i have come to realize..a lot of people think we will change if you lose weight..you wont eat like they do..go out and eat when they go..change your wardrobe..get more attention..name it!

    my daddy HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE..prostrate cancer survivor..overweight..but LADIES..eats like he is still young and working in the fields <_<

    oh yeah..and now mommy wants me to help her lose weight

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    Whenever you do something other than the status quo, you are going to get some flack for going against the mainstream, especially if you are doing something that needs to be done. Food is a very personal thing and people will get offended if they feel that your actions imply that their food choices are wrong. It's sad b/c many times the very people that get offended are the ones who most need to change and they allow their hurt feelings to impede them from making vital lifestyle changes.

    My sister is experiencing this first hand. She was a chubby child and an overweight adult. Now after many years of failed diets, she's finally figured out the key to weight loss. She's lost almost 50lbs in six months thru exercise, better food choices and smaller portions. (I'm so proud of her) Her friends who are overweight are as mad as wet hens! She's had to limit her contact with them, b/c they are constantly telling her that she's only going to gain back more. This weekend, she and I went on a hike in Smokies. This was the first time she'd ever attempted to do something like that and she did fine. When we finally got to the top she told me that even though she was dead tired she felt great b/c all week her girls had told her that she wouldn't last ten minutes! It's a shame.

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    Food is a very personal thing and people will...

    This is an excellent point.

    It's impossible to get some people to understand that it's really not YOU... Really. It's me.

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    My Mom has always cooked healthy food. Three veggies with every meal, high-fibre cereal in the morning and all that stuff. Her friend's husbands are always telling their wives to be more like her.

    When I move in with my boyfriend, now hubby, we started getting lazy and getting more take-outs than we should have. We also started keeping snacks in the house (which never happens in my mom's house) and munching on them whenever we felt like it. I am only 4"11 so gaining 5 pounds made a huge difference. I was three sizes bigger and looked like a chipmunk. Whenever I gain weight, it first goes to my cheecks. I hated myself. I went on weigh-less (in South Africa and the UK), a bit like WW (weigh you food and limeted amounts of certain types of food).

    I lost all the weight and people really started talking. "Maybe theres trouble in paradise". I asked one of my friends why they never asked wht the problem was when I gained weight, he said he thought that my hubby was keeping me happy. Some people still belive that an overweight person means the hubby or wife is keeping them happy, what cr*p.

    My family was my greatest support. When I saw my fat \\pictures, I cannot beleive that my hubby asked me to marry him while i looked like a whale.

    A lot of people envy me now, I have convinced at least 4 people in the office to go on weigh-less and they are doing great. Whenever we have office get-togethers, the weigh-less ladies organise the grub so that we are assured of good, nourishing food.

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    Good for you, Sangoma!It amazes me the ridiculous way...

    After a while, you just get used to ignoring certain comments OR stating something that they didn't know and making them think about what they're eating.

    Alot of folks thought I was losing my mind when I did the Master Cleanse for 10 days...what did I hear "what? 10 days with NO FOOD ...I can't do it...blah, blah, blah"...some of these same people began to reconsider once they discovered that the lemonade actually tastes GOOD! Some of my coworkers have since begun the MC fast!

    I find that living by example is the best way to get a person to change if they are truly sincere about it. I workout on a regular basis and I love it. However, I have family members who just will NOT exercise but will yet sit and "complain" that they need to lose weight, lower their cholesterol, etc. I remember telling someone (I think it was my grandfather and he's 81) that if they lost some of the weight they carry around AND eat healthier, then just maybe they can get off of the bp meds, have fewer aching bones and joints, breathe better and get rid of that gut/stomach they're always complaining about...

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    tdhayes.....tell me about it! i am dreading going back to work and listening to what the "folk" will say. they will see, no weight was gained over the summer...if anything i lost some more. and after they finish "complaining about how they ate..etc.." they will then say, i need to do something..

    my all time favorite (since i workout AFTER work...for my clothes will be in the car..either for the gym or stone mountain park) "i need to go work out with you..." as always, i tell them..NO PROBLEM..BRING YOUR CLOTHES! do they do that? telling me they gotta run home..etc like i am going to wait on them.

    when you are ready to be about the business....you will BE ABOUT IT!

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    tdhayes.....tell me about it! i am dreading going back...

    You betta say that again!

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    when you are ready to be about the business....you...

    true dat! sounds like a sermon up in heah!

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    Well, I've always been into eating healthy, and I was one of the smallest in my family. They used to make fun & even get the little ones to throw some of my healthy food in the trash. A few years ago, I moved in with some of my relatives, and ended up gaining 60 pounds. They were so smug about it, saying that I couldn't fight my genes. Well, I've lost most of the weight (20lbs to go. Yay!), and they don't have a word to say about it--good or bad. At first I thought that maybe I wasn't looking as good as i thought until I ran into an old aquaintance. Her eyes almost bugged out at how much I had slimmed down. Family can be terrible.

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    Currently I buy a size 4 pants but I'm the biggest one in my immediate family. My brother and mom are just naturally skinny people. I can't so much as eat any snacks at all (fruit, yogurt, anything) when I'm around my mom, drink juice (too much sugar), or take a second helping. It does go both ways.

    However, I think some black people glorify being overweight. In fact some use it as an excuse to keep their unhealthy habits. They say "I'm not built that way," or, "I like meat on my bones." Maybe fried food all day would be fine if you had to walk everywhere you wanted to go. I've been called "white girl skinny" many times. Someone actually told me that if she was my size, she wouldn't worry about eating healthy or working out. I told her that it's because I do those things that I'm the size I am. A freind also made a comment that she was trying to lose weight for a vacation and ordered a salad at lunch. However, the salad had cheese, bacon and extra ranch dressing on the side. Just read the "Beyonce" thread in the culture forum and you'll see it again. I held my tongue there but, while she isn't fat, she is what I would call "healthy." Skinny? no. Thin? Not right now.

    This whole cleansing thing throws people for a loop. Don't even discuss vegetarianism. Most women I know are turned off by the thought of not eating red meat. All I can say is try to lead by example and rise above the negativity.

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