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  • Are We All Macy Grey Wannabes?

     

    I went my friends house the other evening and my hair was in a braid-out, a lil fluffy and big but looked fine ..better than that my hair looked fierce.And my friend ask me "Are you trying to have Macy Grey's styles" (Keep in mind my friend is Asian and we live in a white prediminant community...naturals are not uncommon but few wear a huge fro like i do). Anyhoo I reply to her "This is how my hair grows out of my head!"... She says "Yeah! Yeah! I know its not just Macy Grey that has hair like that, black people do..but like "the stlyle"..I thought to myself -I dont even dress my Macy Grey or anything how can I have her style??-. I just told her "This how my hair stays (naturaly!)!!!" and left it at that.... Later on that night while i was braiding my hair before going to bed she asked me "What are you going to do to your hair"... WTF ... I said "nothing" (What do i have to do to my hair !??)...She also got really excited when she thought i said i was going to straighten it!!! ~_~.
    This friend mentionned before that she like my hair better (with a re.laxer) and I told her that i didnt care what people think about my hair... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    She's the only person that's giving me a "hard time" about my hair..honestly I think that people should learn to shut up about personnal preference....
    Do othe people get "comments" about their hair!?

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    Tell her to mind her own business.

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    I get comments from my dad. But I ignore him. He has a thing about long hair. He will get over it and so will your friend.

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    This friend mentionned before that she like my hair better...

    Your friend has issues with your hair as it is now. She'll have to get over it.

    I don't really get that at all as where I am the Asians so rarely see a black person wearing their hair natural as it's a real novelty. From the excitement perspective, I'm real interesting as it's popular with some Korean trendies

    I think that nappies are going to get friction from a lot of sources. I know when I finally stopped the microbraids the guy closest to me wasn't really liking my hair nappy. But so what?

    I'd say we're all going to get similar comparisons too. There are so few black women in the media who wear their hair nappy. There are so few of us in real life who do too. There is a small pool to select from in terms of comparisons.

    I say just keep on moving and realize that your friend has issues but that's not your problem. If it continues then just tell her firmly you like your hair the way it is - END OF DISCUSSION.

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    I am totally perplexed with the amount of time "Americans" spend talking about hair. I am also confonded that people seem to feel they have the right to comment on how others wear their hair. It must be cultural because some of the things I read on this site would just not be tolerated here in Canada.
    I don't know what it is like for other members who live in different countries, but sometimes I'm really confused.
    It so often seem like a violation of person and boundaries. No one I know would tell me anything about my hair, except to compliment me if they liked it. if they had nothing good to say they would keep quiet.

    I have received many compliments since returning to work with my twistout. Only one person asked me if it was difficult to do.

    Sorry for the rant, but i'm trully confounded.

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    This friend mentionned before that she like my hair better...

    I would play her that youtube of where do your black beauty supply dollars go and ask her if she scared her people will go broke if we learn how to really learn to take care of our hair. But that's just what I would do...maybe she relly is your friend and that would be rude.

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    canagirl,

    Thanks for that perspective. I often feel the same way, and I'm American!

    My roommate is a white girl from Spain, and I have a 3 inch nappy fro, that I twist. And I haven't got one negative comment, or one judgmental/perverse question. I KNOW if she was American, I would be getting something-whether she be black or white.

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    Quote:
    Tell her to mind her own business.
    Basically.

    You can't do anything but tell her to MYOB and ignore any more nonsense coming from her mouth. Don't feed into it (getting defensive, telling her it hurts your feelings, etc.) and it'll eventually die down. And if it doesn't, cut her back. Friends are supportive or at least silent when they disagree. They respect your choice. People who don't, aren't truly your friend.

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    she seems lost to the idea that natural hair isnt just a style

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    ...

    And there you have it.

    But I agree with canagirl. These comments are just way too intrusive.

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    I just say MYOB

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    Can you say that again?

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    I don't know what it is like for other members...

    You know what they say about assumptions?

    Now I don't know where the OP's friend lives or where the OP was, but I clicked over to her profile and then to her Fotki and she has a Canadian flag on it. That a pretty strong indicator that she's Canadian too. She can come in to clear this all up. However, I don't think nationality is the issue or should be.

    fftop: I'm here in Korea and most of the knock down verbal brawls I've had have been with Canadians who don't mind their manners. That ranges from someone straight up assuming he was more qualified for the job I beat him out for (we met by chance a few months later) to Canadians simply assuming I don't know the capital of Canada (now most people might not, but some don't realize that the "Talking to Americans" skit is edited for TV and they're going to get clowned trying to play it out in real life.)

    An American co-worker and I had to suffer through a dinner last term with another co-worker from Canada. He was going on and on about education in the US and he had NO IDEA about what he was talking about. Maybe where you're from the locals behave better but y'all have a bunch of Canadians here that violate boundaries more so often that I tend to avoid Canadians and prefer to hang with British and folks from other Commonwealths (New Zealanders are great and friendly folks )

    On a positive note a lady I know, from Canada also, is very positive and loves asking me questions about my hair. So this IS NOT about Canada bashing, but this "we don't act like that" is a bit naive because in the years I've been here I've been absolutely astounded at how rude Canadians can be. It's not all of them but Canadians, or any other nationality, aren't immune to being rude. I know this first-hand.

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    yep... she needs to mind herz..... AND--maybe you should start pesterin' her and ask her what is SHE gonna do with her hair because it would look better in an Afro....

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    My friend told me that afros are for boys and Foxy Brown. I said that it wasn't because that's it way it grows out of my head, then she said something like, yeah, I know, but okay, Foxy Brown.
    She isn't really much of a social thinker, so I forgave her for that. She tends to say un-smart things when it comes to black people.

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    I'm going against the majority on this one, I don't see the problem. The OP was indeed wearing a hair style, not how her hair naturally grows out of her scalp. It was a fluffy braidout which probably looked like a hairstyle the friend saw on Macy Gray. When the OP is braiding her hair at night and the friend asks her what style she's going to wear, that's a legitimate question to ask when you are braiding your hair.

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    Quote:I'm going against the majority on this one, I don't...

    I agree with this part

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    Hey Cangirl, Im Canadian to and I Totally understand the American coment about hair vs Canada

    I have been getting nothing but nice comment about my hair from strangers! And I dont think its because that she's Asian that she doesnt like my hair.> I go to a college where 1/2 the student are Asian..I even had one Asian girl tell me how much she loves my hair and telling me she want to get a Afro perm.
    I just think that people have this idea of what they expect me to look like and cant get around that this isnt a style is my hair..
    Usualy people around here know that Hair is hair but its to much of a topic with me and my friend! *sigh *
    I thinki should talk to her if she brings it up again'

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    I would play her that youtube of where do your black beauty supply dollars go and ask her if she scared her people will go broke if we learn how to really learn to take care of our hair..
    OMG that too funny !!!!hahahaha

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    I don't know what it is like for other members...

    I've never had any negative comments either but I don't assume that Canadians are better then Americans. I've answered quite a few questions about my locs when I had them and I had no problems with that. I have been to the States many times and I haven't had any negative experiences with my hair either.

    We may not like being told we're jacking someone's style, especially when it's a common one, but considering that it is a minority of us who wear our natural, people will make the comparaisons to the public figures who have worn that style before. Just like any white chick who wears extensions will not be compared to Beyonce but to Paris Hilton or Celine Dion :P

    I personnaly don't mind people inquiring about my hair so long as it's genuine curiousity.

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    Quote:
    It was a fluffy braidout which probably looked like a hairstyle the friend saw on Macy Gray. When the OP is braiding her hair at night and the friend asks her what style she's going to wear, that's a legitimate question to ask when you are braiding your hair.
    I really understand what your saying... I find that style is something that is Head-to-toe not just a braid out! I didnt ask her if she was trying to get Bae Ling style when she cut of her long hair to chin length.

    I just dont think that my hair is should be categorized has idolisation of a celebrity..if i would have changed myself -my clothes and my manerisim to suit Macy Grey i would have wouldnt have taking if so bad.
    It just bothers me that my friend is always making side comment about my hair and is trying to "figure out' what my hairs are about!!!

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    So a "fluffy braidout" is now 'the Macy Gray'?

    N_e_ways, if folks think it's kosher to run up on people and comment on their hygiene/beauty rituals then they're on that island by themselves. Say hi to Gilligan.

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    N_e_ways, if folks think it's kosher to run...

    Well for some people, seeing natural hair styles is not common, so they may associate the style with a celebrity who wears the same style. No big deal to me, maybe I just don't think it's all that serious.

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    ^ Its not that serious Im just venting!

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    I've been in and out of the post all week, but did not feel the need to post anything until last night. We had a family get together at my cousin's house and was just hanging out fellowshiping and have a good time. There are two Nappturals in my family, however we are slowly converting others. So our hair is always a topic of conversation when we all get together.

    My brother, who has had a problem with my hair every since I decided to go natural, always has something to say. So thur-out the night he was constantly calling me Macy Gray. I'm sure he meant it as an insult, but I took it as a compliment. The fact that he was unable to get a reaction from me, finally shut him up. The nail in the coffin was when his wife, who happens to be a hair stylist, was loving my hair.

    My prayer is one day my brother can look at me and love the total me, NAPS and all. I know he loves me, but his issues with my hair is wearing thin. He has to give up on the Gabriel Union dream hair, and let me embrace the Macy Gray "FIERCE" hair...that's the skin I'm in and I'm not changing.

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    Now I don't know where the OP's friend lives or...

    Interesting experience... As a canadain i think its more of the fact that we don't hold back our presprective.. but then again who am i to defend those people. I'd just say u were forced to deal with the wrong crowd.

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    Hi everyone, i just wanted to add my story; my very close friend at work "lil j" once told me to take those 'things' out of my hair, wash and condition really good, blow dry and straighten my hair! Mind you i have 3yrs old locks and would'nt dare do such a thing. Lil j is caucasian and as usual, dont understand why i would prefer to keep my hair in locks. And guess what ya'll, she even has the audacity to speak of her straight hair as sometimes being nappy! I'm like 'yeah right'(i said that to her while telling her that her hair was most likely tangled, not nappy). and i have told her on many occasions about what it takes for our textured hair to mimick straight hair. she still doesnt fully understand. She is a cool person to hang with so i havent written her off. she has accepted my hair and left the idea (of me taking my locks out) alone. Maybe if i tie her to a barber's chair and put a r.ealxer in her hair every 6 to 8 weeks, then she will understand. Oh wait a minute. i almost forgot about the c.urling irons, f.lat irons and all those other styling products we used when we did our r.elaxed hair. She needs to suffer a burning scalp, dry, brittle, broken hair, extensions put in to tight and etc in order for her or any of those "casians" to understand some of what we go through.

    i'm so bad! but seriously, she is a good friend. it's just that her hair is too straight. :P (Ha) lol

    mahdah

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