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    Okay I been on and off here embarrassed to post this but I need some help. I am addicted to mastubating. I been doing this since I was about 10 years old. I masturbate on average 3 times a day and sometimes every day of the week. I think I have ruined myself cause I cant achieve an orgasm anymore. I dont know what to do. Where do I go to get help? I'm a lil embarrassed to tell my BF about it. He knows I masturbate too much. I am always watching porn. What is wrong with me?

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    Whoa, how'd I miss this one!

    :P

    There's no need to feel embaressed. I think masturbation is healthy, and being able to get there more than once a day, is lucky.

    Now that you can't achieve orgasm, I don't think you've broken it. I don't know what your method is, but maybe you've gotten to accustomed to a certain pattern. You need to up your game... ^_^

    You should explore a little more, stretch you imagination, and explore other types of stimulation. (oral). I never acheived orgasm through masturbation until the same age.

    Takes patience, concentration, imagination, and being open to new ideas.

    HTH

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    Okay I been on and off here embarrassed to post...

    I think something that should be established is whether you still enjoy it or not. If you don't even enjoy it and do it then that sounds like their could be something there. But there doesn't have to be something wrong with you. People develop bad habits often in a reaction to something. I think it might be worth your while to talk to a counselor to see where the source of the shame and frustration is coming from. It very well may not even be sex related. i feel that I should not masturbate because I turn into a lust bucket and it consumes me.
    Many people can manage fine. I would try to figure out the source of the feelings and then you will know where to go from there.
    I only used the word bad for a lack of a better term I guess vice would be better.

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    I am in no way saying you, me, vinny, or any other previous, present or future masturbaters need counseling. Nor that it is bad. My opinion is that negative feelings can be vicious to the body and the soul. That is why I suggested talking to a counselor. Just to clarify!

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    Okay I been on and off here embarrassed to post...

    Ain't nothing wrong with you. I masturbate everyday.
    I wouldn't be really concerned with masturbating 3x a day, but not being able to reach an orgasm anymore.............
    The clitoris can become desensitized from direct stimulation with a solid object (finger, vibrator, dildo). You might want to try using the shower or just dry humping in the future.

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    Okay I been on and off here You might want...

    ointlaugh: ointlaugh: ointlaugh: What the hell is dry humping? Inquiring minds want to know.

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    Okay I been on and off here You might want...

    Yeah what is dry humping? And can you dry hump by yourself? Why isn't it called wet humping?

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    Quote:Quote: Jun 15 2005, 12:20 AMOkay I been on and off...

    you often see little boys do it when they hunch up against something and it feels so good to them.. i know i caught myself doing this to the washing machine one day when it hit the spin cycle ( why am i tellin yall this)

    also... Raheem is my best friend ... my shower head.

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    I masterbate often, but not everyday. This is because I found it hard to have an orgasm with a partner if I didnt tell her EXACTLy how to do it. I had become accustomed to reaching it that one way. I'm in a Long Distance Relationship now, so I do it whenever.

    I understand the OP's concern, but its healthy. Like Vinny said, do more exploration. Stop trying what works and do other things.

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    Hmmmm...

    Well, from a physical standpoint, if your body gets accustomed to something, it will become less sensitive to that stimulus or in some case conditioned to only respond to that stimulus. The key is to change up your routine.

    Try a couple of different things and you may find yourself back in O-Town pretty soon.

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    well i don't think there's anything wrong w/ masturbation but do you think you're overcompensating for something else that's missing in your life? or trying to avoid dealing w/ something in your life.

    just wondering because it sounds excessive to me and usually when we do things in excess it's because we are not dealing with the real issue.

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    The clitoris can become desensitized from direct stimulation with a...

    Exactly!

    I find that myself. When I use a certain visual stimulus one day, or for even a week, I will eventually become desensitized to it, like Mr. Dean point out, you can become less senstive.

    Gotta change it up, and find another.

    C'mon, ya'll know what dry humping is... _ShiftyEye:
    I know I do

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    thanks ladies and gentleman for responding. I do it when I bored. Thats the weird thing about me. If I am sad like really sad and depressed I do it more and more. I meditate, I pray, and excercise and it doesnt get me happy until I masturbate. Thats why I think I am weird. If I dont masturbate I get really angry and snap at people. I may need some counseling. I dont know. And I thought I needed help when I started rubbing myself on table corners at work. So maybe I do have a problem. I dont know.

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    hmm. i think that's normal, as long as it's not disrupting your life functions. i.e. - your late to work because... or i forgot to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaner because i was trying to get home to... i think you will be fine. but do change it up. i think you can say that in reference to this topic, that everybody does it. but some are too afraid to admit it. thanks for your honesty!!!

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    after i posted i saw the part about the table corners at work.... hmmm. this is something i don't recall being brought up, but do you feel fulfilled by your boyfriend????

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    Actually I am fullfilled by him. Thats the part I dont understand. Or why I think something is wrong with me.

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    Just make sure the tables' corners are rounded. You don't want to puncture anything!

    I think your sex drive is just in turbo mode right now. We've all been there. Hell, I wanted to do it like 5 hours after I had my son. And I went through a moment of sexual arousal during labor when I went through my contractions on all fours (doggy style).............

    So, as you can see, we go through moments where we just gotta have it. I used to snap at people if I didn't get any for awhile too.

    Hey, it's yours, right? If you want to rub it lopsided, have at it. Don't feel bad unless you think that masturbation is rong.

    But I also agree with Melanizm. Make sure that your constant ride on the "O" rollercoaster isn't compensation for something else.

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    Maybe you need a change of pace -- like a toy perhaps -- try

    www.adameve.com

    there maybe something there you can use

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    Maybe you need a change of pace -- like a...

    Already have toys from adameve.com

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    Okay I been on and off here embarrassed to post...

    I think you should set a goal for yourself. Orgasms are a euphoric experience, like drugs or alcohol or food, and I think can be something you can get addicted to.

    I remember during a very lonely time in my life I explored the joys of my Shower head much more than I should, but just feeling good or feeling a rush can numb certain feelings of doubt or sadness even if it is just for a moment.

    But orgasms, especially for women, should be something we control. And anything in excess is not good. You should not let this become routine but something special and not abused.

    I say, go for 6 months or a year without reaching an orgasm. If you feel one coming on, stop. Learn to be the master of your sexuality. Then when you feel your strongest and the moment is right, introduce it back into your life. But know the boundaries and remember the time that you did have the ability to not orgasm for a long time and know u can control your sexual experience and that it doesn't control you.

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    Perhaps it has become to rote. What I mean to say is just as sex can become soulless so can masterbation. A meaningless roll in the hay can be fun, but if all a person is getting is quickes it would get tiresome and feel hollow (this is obviously a female perspective). Perhaps what you need is to seduce yourself again and rediscover sensuality. Change it from being just masterbation to self-love. Even if i'm way off base I hope you find the answers and start having the big-Os soon.

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    umm....for many years i was doing it several times everyday, and when i bought my first toy, i went at it CONSTANTLY!

    I don't think ur weird, well, the rubbing on the table at work was kinda different, just wait til u get home to get it on with the furniture, cuz u dont wanna get caught doing something like that....but when i cant reach an orgasm by masturbation, i lose the desire to do it...like after having toys, i couldnt have one if i used my hands....so i stopped using my toys, and the manual workout was successful again

    so why are u still masturbating if ur not having orgasms? just asking b/c that's why i do it

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    Exactly how does one masturbate? I have been sexually deprived and I am considering satisying myself, but I don't know where to begin. I am leaning toward purchasing a vibrator, but I don't know if I can handle it. I practiced on my back massager by leaning against it, but when it starts to get good it seems to feel too good to the point of pain. I don't know what to do to please myself. Fingers are out of the question. They hurt.

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    I may need some counseling. I dont know. And...

    I was thinking the same thing.

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    I say, go for 6 months or a year without...

    Dang! 6months? Are you sure?

    I went 22 years without an orgasm, and I only have them now about 1-3 times a month.

    I agree OP, think some down time would do you good. After reading your second post, I think there may be more to it than just a boring routine.

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    so why are u still masturbating if ur not having orgasms? just asking b/c that's why i do it

    Thats the thing I was getting orgasms just recently I cant get one anymore.

    Sounds like you may need to talk with someone about intimacy issues. I does sound like your sexuality is controlling you. I have to say that I'm glad that you're not engaging in risky behavior such as unprotected sex.

    I agree but when I was really young all I did was have sex. I used it like I was powerful I was on some Lil Kim trip. Like everyman was a conquest I always used protection and never had oral sex with anyone but I was very very into risky behavior. After I had my son I stopped completely and prayed a lot and really found myself ya know. BTW I have had recent STD/AIDS test and im straight.

    I cant find the post regarding my BF but I remembered the question and my BF hates that I masturbate too much. And I would have an earthshattring, cryying, shivering, lose my breath orgasm with him and run to the bathroom and get my vibrator and masturbate again. Why do I do that. I wanted to talk to my mom about it but I am afraid of what she would say.

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    Exactly how does one masturbate?* I have been sexually deprived...

    why cant u use ur fingers?

    if u use a vibrator, try out the different speeds and different pressure...when it starts to feel painful, pull back some

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    Exactly how does one masturbate?à‚* I have been sexually deprived...

    i just wanted to agree here. i also wanted to add that fingers aren't just for inserting anymore! you can stroke your clitoris, you can stroke along the sides of your vagina (the outer labia), you can even stroke through clothing if direct pressure is too much.

    i go through phases where direct stimulation is too much, and then i just masterbate through my underwear or sleepwear or whatever.

    experiment! it's your body! find out what brings you pleasure.

    as to the OP -- i have gone through periods where i masturbate like 3 times a day for weeks on end. and then i'll go through a dry spell where i hardly masturbate at all.

    i think maybe some of the internalized guilt/shame stuff comes from outside of us. often, society views the fully sexually powerful woman with negative lenses: she's seen to be a whore, or an aggressive female canine.

    my BF teases me about my sexual drive, because it's powerful and strong, and i love sex. recently, he said he was teasing me too much about it, because he loves it, but i guess he worries he won't be able to keep up he does an amazing job of keeping up though so, no worries.

    but even so, i still masturbate. and sometimes, after sex, i'll masturbate, even though i've already had an orgasm. it feels good. and women are capable of multiple orgasms, so why not have them?! i involve my BF with these. usually he'll hold me and we'll kiss or whatever. it's actually really sweet and nice.

    mmm. my BF.

    i hope this wasn't TMI!

    n.

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    I cant find the post regarding my BF but I...

    OK... I think your BF may feel a little insecure if he gets upset about you masturbating, but that is not your fault. You can not do anything about someone elses insecurities.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating after earth shattering sex. I have done many times. Sometimes I am in the mood for multiple orgasms and my hubby isn't in the mood to give them to me. He is not threatened by me masturbating myself more after he has just rocked my world. And I do not ever feel that he does not satisfy me. In fact he usually laughs, calls me a greedy lover and makes threats (which he definitely follows through with) to make me *** until I pass out (on another day when he has the energy). I am cool with that.

    I think it is important that if you are in a committed sexual relationship with someone, you should be able to freely talk about your needs, desires and dislikes. Explore mutual possibilities with respect for one another's needs if not full understanding.

    None of us know for sure how your masturbating routine is really making you feel. I suggest (like many others already have), if you are feeling angst about your lifestyle, you should speak with a therapist to see what's going on with you. I am willing to bet your masturbation habits (and your thoughts about them) may be a symptom of another problem and not your problem. Like everyone else said... there is nothing wrong with masturbating several times a day. Sometimes we just go through those phases in life.

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    I also want to add... when I was in my early twenties, I was so on fire that I was sure men could smell sex in the phermones seeping through my skin. I mean I was ALWAYS HOR*Y! I was masturbating a lot! I would even sit in rush hour traffic and get off! I also enjoyed watching porno from time to time. In fact, my female cousin and I would actually go rent them ever so often.

    It went on for about 3 or 4 years and I questioned myself a couple times wondering if something was wrong with me... but I just shrugged it off and just did what I felt I had to do to keep me sane and congenial to people.

    Then all of a sudden, the animal like drive I had been having for years calmed itself down. I still had a healthy sex drive, but I wasn't over the top like I had been. So maybe that's what you have been experiencing.

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