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  • A Conservative City

     

    So, I've kinda experienced my first rude comment about my hair. I was at work, and my supervisor comes up and says "What's wrong with your hair?" I'm like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "It's all red and bushy." I'm like, "Yes it is...That is MY hair." And he just walked away. <_<

    I never walk up to a white person and say, "What's wrong with your hair? It's all blonde and flat."

    I've really noticed a difference in Cincinnati. When I lived in GA I never got rude comments because it was pretty normal to see a person with their natural hair down there. But even in Cincinnati, people are like, "You should have left in your coils." It's like they want me to continue hiding myself. Even my friend who has natural hair, but is locing makes fun of my fro, and it's so strange to me....I'm like we are both natural, but because I choose to wear mine out, I'm so different...

    Thanks for letting me vent.

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    we all need to vent every once in a while

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    In my mind it's normal to have natural hair, but black women have taught the world that having straight hair is the norm. People just don't know any better. Locs are "en vouge"

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    Right...and the guy who asked me was white. I feel like a white man really wouldn't be educated about a black person's hair, but at the same time, you shouldn't judge something that you just don't understand, but assuming that maybe something is wrong w/ my hair..lol....

    I tell you, being natural has made me have thicker skin because I don't attempt to even argue w/ people anymore over this....I just roll my eyes and move on.

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    I never walk up to a white person and say,...

    Thanks for bringing this up...I had the same issue...ppl couldn't except the fro...some thought is was beautiful...but I recieve more negative comments from blacks then I do whites...it hurts me...I don't understand it sometimes...but I guess it's the ignorant way to be...I'm locing my hair now,because I've always wanted to and I get a couple of stares because of it...ppl ask questions like,"what if you get tired of them?"...."when they get long are you going to cut them?"
    No,dumbie lol....uuugh...it erks me....this is your thread...I done went into a tangent...

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    I never walk up to a white person and say,...

    I have always said that about Cincy. I was there visiting about 2 weeks ago and I was downtown on Liberty getting me some Alabama Fish (yeah that's how I do it) and a man and a woman were walking past me. (I had my BAA going on) and I suddenly heard the girl laugh as they got closer to me. I heard the guy say

    "Now she know better than to come out the house looking like that. And she even tried to dress up her hairs too"( I had a headband on) I was like

    I have only lived in ATL for a year and a half and I almost forgot how Cincy was. I went to the Comedy show on Tuesday, and I had a guy try to talk to me and he said " Yeah, I picked you cause I know you dont have a weave and when you perm that you hair will be long as Heck" like that was a compliment!!!

    I love Cincy b/c that is my birthplace but I hate the vibe of the city, feels like mental slavery and everyone is stuck in the 90's. When I come back next week, for the Falcons game, I will be twisted up!

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    Are there many black people in Cincy? That's the one good thing about living so close to Atlanta. It's not TOO unusual to see a black woman with natural hair.

    Why do you think Atlanta and other black cities are so accepting of natural black hair but some cities with large black populations are not?

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    "Now she know better than to come out the house...

    I also was born and raised here and moved when I was 16. When I first went natural I was living in Atlanta, so it was a peice of cake. When I moved back to Cincy, I permed my hair again . Then went natural again, and was attempting to loc, so people weren't used to seeing my fro....But when I decided not to loc, my fro was drastically longer, and I guess a shock to people...I don't understand it tho. People in Cininnati do have major issues. I live in a racist city where whites hate blacks and blacks hate blacks....crazy.

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    Why do you think Atlanta and other black cities are...

    conditioning and diversity

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    Why do you think Atlanta and other black cities are...

    There are a lot of black people in Cincy. We are the minority, but we're here. Also Cincinnati is very segregated. There are white neighborhoods, and there are black neighborhoods.

    I think Atlanta and other black cities are more accepting because they have more black people and are more in touch with their blackness and have pride in themselves. In black cities they are the majority and what the white people say about their hair really doesn't matter because even then the white people are used to seeing blacks with their natural hair.

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    I think Atlanta and other black cities are more accepting...

    Yes, there are black people in Cincy. In some places too many

    Very segregated, yes. I cant tell you how much clout going to a private school held for me. People assumed that my family had money or I was easy to get along with (white people) b/c I went to school w/ a bunch of em. I literally got 3 jobs just off the fact that I was a Purcell grad. Seriously.

    I didnt have to guts to go natural in Cincy, so first of all big ups to you girl. It was too much pressure and I had no support. When I got down here, it is just more appreciated. Different is okay whereas in Cincy, I am considered to be strange, pro-black, in a cult or a lesbian. I have one friend in Cincy who is natural and she is locked, and she makes fun of the fro, but I just thinks its because she's scared of it, she went straight from a perm to locs.

    When I got down here, it was easy for me to be like, "No one knows me down here" so I can look jacked up if I want( That is honestly what I thought)

    I just wanted to let you know I understand you if no one does....

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    Very segregated, yes. I cant tell you how much clout...

    Thanks.....There are actually three other women in my department at my job who are natural.....One is a lesbian, lol, but the other two are just older women who have fros and no one bothers them . I think it could be because I'm so young, 22, and I don't know....

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    So, I've kinda experienced my first rude comment about my hair. I was at work, and my supervisor comes up and says "What's wrong with your hair?" I'm like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "It's all red and bushy." I'm like, "Yes it is...That is MY hair." And he just walked away. <_<

    I never walk up to a white person and say, "What's wrong with your hair? It's all blonde and flat."

    Your supervisors ignorant comments stem from the ever prevalent disease of "whiteness". Ever devisive ideal in our society is predicated upon one premises - White is superior, better, more beautiful, more intelligent, more deserving, more entitled - basically every good thing there is. This premise is not based on anything scientific. White people are afforded this status simply for being white. As a result, white people today live under this ideal of "whiteness". They either consciously or suconsciouly really believe they are better b/c they are white and everyone else is inferior for not being white. How else could someone make such a comment about the hair that actually growing out of someone's head naturally? There's this unspoken expecatation for everyone else to conform and attempt to mirror the so call superior image of white. The problem has been that blacks and other races internalized these ideals thereby further intensifying that arrogant expectation by white people. I think when white people see a black person wearing their natural hair it says more than we realize. It say we reject their standard of beauty. It says we know who we are and we love who we are. It also says we are leaders and not followers b/c we have minds of our own. White peple today have this "illusion of control" over other races. Natural hair diminishes that illusion so they make these offhand comments to try to shake us back into submission. I think you handled yourself beautifully by simply stating "this is my hair". Enough said b/c there is no reason to debate with people like that. Ignorance deserves to be ignored. Well done my sister!

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    I feel you...its like around my 'hood there are alot of natural older people...even at church
    but they wear it as a twa picked out to perfection

    At college that is a different story

    But in a way....I feel like Im wearing a 'grandma' style because that's all I see with the twa (disclaimer in advance: not saying it is it was just a joke people!)

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    but they wear it as a twa picked out to...

    Lol...I feel you.... grandma style. The way to make it ungradmaish is to just accessorize, and be young. I think the younger people w/ twa's get more creative with them, whereas older people (grandmas) just pick it out, and go....and most of the time they aren't growing theirs out. They go to the barber on the regular, at least my grandmother does..

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    I feel you with that picked to perfection thing lol
    I am currently wearing my hair in a afro/twist out and while I have gotten a lot of commnts some people have given me looks like ??????. But you have to just ignore them.
    One locked friend told me that the 60's were over lol.

    I love my chunky afro

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    Cincinnati is extrememly racist. It prides itself on being a major stop on the underground railroad but what they don't tell you is about the black tax (500$ each) they used to make blacks pay who wished to reside in the city. So many people downtown were getting lynched that many moved up north. That's how lincoln heights got started. They got mad that we had a nice suburb and split lincoln heights into lincoln heights and evendale with I-75 up the middle. Then they took GE's money and most of lincoln heights tax base and now you have the mess that's there today (though the city is worse if you ask me). Cincinnati is VERY black, but very RETARDED black. It's like no other city I've ever visited. I lived in a town of 7800 (5 black including me) in SW Missouri and didn't have the kind of racism I have here.

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    Yep racist enough to make he high tail it the hell up outta there. That's why I said I feel her, its really different there. There is alot of corruption going on in that city and I refuse to live there and pay taxes to support it. I want to have my (future) children to grow up in a place where there isn't another strike against them or some bull ish that they have to deal with like I did.

    In the middle of a snowstorm in January , I bid Sayanora to Cincy.....

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    I feel your pain sistahs!!!!! I bc'd once since I've been employed with my company, and everyone loved my "short and fresh" look. Now that I'm letting my hair grow again I get comments like, "you're at that again?!" It's all very frustrating.

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    I live in Cincinnati and outside of my college campus(there too sometimes) I get alot of stares , like why you didnt comb your hair. That's just the way people are here if it's not silky straight and sewn in it aint right. And they all look alike I swear if I see another teen with two tone blonde/red and black micros I'm have a fit.

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    I tell you, being natural has made me have thicker...

    Can we say "HR"?.... In the work place, he has no business approaching you that way... While I understand curiosity, his question was loaded with judgement and ingnorance.... Hopefully he'll keep his mouth shut from here on out since you proudly stated "This is MY Hair"....

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    I think Atlanta and other black cities are more accepting...

    I'm going to slightly (just slightly) disagree about some of the other black cities, because I'm from Detroit, which is about as black as you can get, and the natural population might be about 5%. And there is tons of black pride here, but the natural thang just ain't happening.

    What I do think is a factor is regional diversity within the black population of a city. Atlanta, New York and D.C. have black people from all over the country, so those cities seem to be more likely to have groups of people who are open-minded about wearing their hair natural or at least recognizing that they don't "need" to perm.

    I don't see a lot of in-migration to Detroit... it's the same old people who are born here who remain here through adulthood. Some may live in other places before settling back in Detroit, while others stay here all their lives... so again, there's no exposure to different ways of thinking.

    That to me seems to be the key as to which "black" cities accept naturality and which don't...

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    ITA.

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    I feel your pain. I feel like a zoo exhibit everytime I go home to Dayton, and hang around there or Cincy. One time I had a really nice picked out BAA and everyone (black and white) looked at me like I was from another planet. My parents still don't understand why I don't straighten the ish outta my hair with a burning chemical. Oh well, one day SW Ohio will get there .

    Sue.

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    i think the real question is what's wrong with your supervisor? honestly, he probably didn't realize he was saying anything wrong. he probably thought you had a tragic story to tell explaining why your hair ended up "looking like that". i guess that's what happens when being weaved and permed is the norm.

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    What I do think is a factor is regional diversity...

    I agree with you on the part about the migration of black people from all over the country moving to large cities such as Atl, DC or NY. That is because there are opportunities for advancement...jobs, "culture" etc.... Cincinnati and Detroit are similar in the fact that no one is moving there for that "dream career". There is low to no advancement and they are not considered to be cultural and I could go on and on. So where the part about there being alot of black people in the city is one thing, the "recycling" of these people is another thing. People are born and raised in Cincinnati and NEVER move. Shoot, my father had only been out of the city a handful of times.

    Yeah and I have been trying to get my lil sis out of the blonde/red micros---she thinks they are cute go figure. She recently had a disaster with bleach and a perm so hopefully I can convert her while she's resting her hair in braids.

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    LadyT007,

    You spoke the truth. I can't believe no one else has backed you up. Yeah. I think we seriously underestimate the affect/effect wearing an afro has on white people. We on forum emphasize how much blacks dislike it, but really, who started that norm?

    I think if whites are uncomfrotable with it, its not because they think it is ugly (black people's brainwashed belief) but because of its rejection of white supremacy. They relieze conciously or subconciously that you don't buy into the global white supremacy-cow dung doctrine. You are not a conformist, and if you won't even bother to make your hair look "normal" you might have different (ie militant) beliefs and, you are probably less likely to do what is expected of you as a black person.

    Basically, any type of afro and a shaved- bald look (and braids to a lesser extent),convey this message. I believe it delievers a big "F*** you" to the system. It says, Screw you, I don't give a damn about your standards. You and your evil system can kiss my black ***, and I still don't care."

    What do you think? Maybe this should be the topic of another thread?

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    What I do think is a factor is regional diversity...

    ITA. Alot of my friends from NY live in Atlanta and there are a bunch of other folks from NY who are very afro-centric and conscious about being black. They wear afros, they wear twists, and locs. Atlanta has a large group of these types which has created alot of cultural changes. However although most of the people are black there is still another group that will look at you crazy because you wear your hair natural.

    Just because a city has a population of mostly blacks doesn't mean they are open to natural hair. But where you have blacks migrating from northern cities in particular that is where you will find more open-minded black people.

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    You spoke the truth. I can't believe no one else...

    Exactly boomslang! Thanks for the shout! Most people only look on the surface of this thing we call racism and white supremacy. It goes so much deeper than we realize. Blacks have been forever changed and damaged by it and so have whites. It takes a conscious decision on the part of each and every person to break free from it. Black people have to stop being slaves in our own mind and stop acting like slaves. White people have to free themselves from the slave owner mentality and come to the genuine realization that they are not better than anyone b/c they are white. They are not better than anyone else period. One thing I've learned is there is nothing I can do to change the mind or heart of a racist white person nor should I. It would be tanamount to me explaining or justifying why I am black. For me to do that would be like confirming their ignorant idea that there is something wrong with being black and I will be d mned if I ever do that. With everything our people have gone through I still would not want to be anything else but black and I am proud of that. Furthermore I would not want to be part of a race of people who have done such despicable things to other human beings simply b/c they were different.

    I'm not sure if this belongs on another board but I do hope the discussion continues b/c I would love to hear the opinions of the other natural sisters! Peace and love!

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    I'm glad you can see it this way. I'm a freshman at college, and all my life, it has usually been me saying these things-no one else. i love it when someone else gets into it. For instance, if there is a discussion on racism, no one talks about it on a down-to -earth-instances-of-white-supremacy-in-everyday-life-way. I wait for others to talk about it, but as usaul, the comments are superficial and never hit the root of the isssue. So, I have to put it like it is.

    It is rather trying on the nerves.

    However, last night, there was a dicussion on affirmative action, and two other older black students, hit the hammer on the head quite nicely. We all had to inform some conservative kids on their ignorance. It was all in good taste. They learned more than they could handle. Probably got them to do some thinking.

    I have found some friends who notice/talk about blatant examples of racism on campus. It is rather refreshing.

    But anyway,

    Racist whites defiantly have problems with our hair, probably because they spend time thinking about it. (Yes, let that sink in) I don't think oblivious white people care.

    But I can sense automatically if a white person is racist or not. I started to sense this last year. Its a tension they have when they are around you. You can tell when people are uncomfortable.

    And I know this. I think a white couple was mocking my hair at a restaurant one time- but this only occured to me in retrospect (I was too busy trying to tip the waitress). Oh, yes. They were snickering amongst themselves, and as I walked by it seemed like they were trying to get me to overhear them...
    ANd the guy said "Oh she's a fiesty one..." and they laughed. I only realized after I left. But I was with a white girl (jewish) and two Indian girls- and the racists had a problem with me. So clearly blacks are the most scrutinized group. And I had my fro out, so i was just asking to be mocked. This is the reason black people started straightening their hair in the first place. White people. And you know what? Some black people will tell me I deserved it for walking out the house "like that".

    Things like that only make me a more vehement nappy. I can't stand how people try to write off my stance as "militant". Whether you guys like it or not, everybody on the website is making a statement.

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